事情越多越动不了？教你从崩溃和内耗中重新开始

这种状态，你熟悉吗？你能做到的！你是否曾因压力过大，而感到全身僵住、动弹不得？

也许是碗碟堆积如山邮件源源不断你的大脑仿佛在嗡嗡作响无论你多努力尝试你就是无法开始行动。

我必须起来我必须起来我得起来了。我能行。我能行。我能行。我能行。

应该用不了多久。实际上要花多长时间呢？开始吧。好了，克里斯蒂，你得从地上起来了。

你得换上睡衣。好了，我们开始吧。克莉丝蒂刚才在门廊上僵住了整整两个小时。

你开始怀疑，我到底怎么了？比如，为什么我就是没法去做那件事？但事实是：

你没有任何问题。你的神经系统只是过载了，它在同时踩油门和刹车。

所以在这期视频里，我将向你展示五个微小而实用的神经系统调节方法，帮助你重新动起来。

放轻松。无需羞愧。所以，无论你是患有 ADHD、抑郁症、职业倦怠，还是其他任何让你停滞不前的原因，我们都将采用一种对神经系统友好的方式，帮助你开始行动并完成任务。

好的，首先我们来谈谈你的神经系统发生了什么。我们来看看多重迷走神经阶梯理论，当我们感到不堪重负时，那通常意味着我们同时卡在两种状态里：一种是焦虑，即交感神经或激活状态；另一种是崩溃或冻结状态。

这就像你的脚同时踩在油门和刹车上。我能感觉到那种不堪重负的感觉真的上来了。

然后我就心想，完了。感觉接下来几个小时我们会一事无成，只会不停地刷手机。

感觉我就要躺下了，而且不会再起来了。因为你正处在恐惧状态中，你无法强迫自己更清晰地思考。

这反而会把你进一步推向停滞状态。你无法通过思考来摆脱失调的身体状态。

你的情绪脑，也就是这里的边缘系统，无法分辨一只美洲狮和一堆未读邮件的区别。

所以它的使命就是生存。于是它会关闭你的问题解决回路，并大量释放压力荷尔蒙，驱使你进入战斗、逃跑或冻结状态，我们就是这样被困住的。

很多人会为此感到羞耻。他们会想，哦，我本应该能做到的。

但你越是给自己施压，感受到的恐惧就越多，也就越难摆脱困境，进入行动或安全状态。

所以你必须先调节状态，再解决问题。那么，我们来谈谈具体该怎么做。

第一步，是调整你的身心状态。所以，与其强迫自己改变，你需要让自己感受到，你是有能力的，并且是安全的。

你需要先调节好神经系统状态，再去处理具体事情。让我来举个例子。

一天早上，我六岁的女儿不肯起床去上学。她只是吓得僵在床上，动弹不得。

当时，我时间很紧。我睡眠不足，开始感到非常烦躁。

我不想只是对她大吼大叫或威胁她。我不想搞得怒气冲冲的。老实说，我并不是总这么做。

但我当时想，哦，怎么才能让这事变得有趣呢？于是我对她说，嘿，我们可以用机器人模式，或者嘀嘟嘀嘟模式，或者用生气模式。

要知道，机器人模式和嘀嘟嘀嘟模式，都是我们以前玩过的游戏，在我们做家务之类的时候。

我当时真的非常震惊她居然选择了“愤怒模式”因为这正是我想避免的。

但因为我早就把这当成一个游戏了当我用一种夸张、响亮、带着怒气的嗓音对她说：“格蕾丝你现在必须马上穿好衣服。”

她咯咯地笑了。然后当我抓住她的腿时她笑得更厉害了。把“愤怒模式”当游戏玩，让我们俩都觉得整个过程很有趣。

很快，她就动了起来，把衣服穿好了。所以，把一件事变成游戏，能将你的状态从恐惧转向玩耍，帮助你行动起来，而非僵在原地。

关于如何将事情游戏化，我们稍后再详谈，但这里的关键是，要在你的神经系统里在你的身体里实践它。

你需要通过自我对话来重建内心的安全感。所以，与其说这样的话：“我快被压垮了，我真是个废物，为什么我就是完成不了？”

所有这些都会让我们更恐惧让我们在这阶梯上不断下滑，对吧？相反，你可以尝试积极的自我对话，比如对自己说：好了这里没有着火。

没有着火。这不是生死攸关的事，好吗？我不是坏人。我只是现在很难分清主次。

所以，你必须用积极的话术与自己对话，帮助你将箭头的方向，从越来越多的恐惧，转向越来越多的安全感。

我花了很长时间才学会这项技能。就拿这件事来说，我练了整整一年，但你知道，我还是得刻意地、有意识地去运用它。

当我真的感到不堪重负时，深陷其中，什么都做不了。

我必须先调节好自己的状态。现在我们来谈谈如何改变你身体的这种状态。

ADHD（多动症）的大脑常常会卡住，因为它们要么刺激不足，要么刺激过度。焦虑的大脑常常会陷入停滞因为其中充斥了压力荷尔蒙。

所以，在采取任何行动之前我们要先帮助身体转换状态。任何能促进活动或增强安全感的方式都管用。

这里有几个方法可以尝试。一种是放慢身体节奏、深呼吸，或者通过产生一些律动来调节，比如轻拍脸颊、哼歌或唱歌。

这些做法都能向你的神经系统发送安全信号。甚至只是自言自语也会有帮助。

但对我来说，像深呼吸、慢呼吸这些让自己平静下来的方法老实说，这招对我真的不太管用。

原因在于。多重迷走神经阶梯理论有个有趣之处：大多数时候，我们必须先经历激活状态，才能实现调节。

所以对我来说，我通常只有在进行某种身体活动之后才能让自己平静下来，比如短途散步或做几个开合跳。

当你活动身体时，它有助于你的神经系统从关闭状态过渡到激活状态。

你还可以尝试其他方法，比如感官刺激，为自己改变一下感官环境。

具体可以试试喝点冰水、放点动感音乐，或者干脆换个环境，比如去咖啡馆或图书馆工作。

所以关键要明白，你并不是懒惰。你的大脑需要一次状态转换，才能启动行为。

所以，你要先调节你的神经系统。你的大脑有点像个小孩子。它更相信你的行动，而不是你的说教。

所以，你不能只是心里默念：“我很安全，我很安全，我不该有这种感觉。”这样是没用的。

你需要通过身体和感官的实际行动，向你的神经系统表明：你是安全的，并且有能力应对。

如果只是心里默念：’哦，我能行。’这远不如亲身去反复实践、反复尝试，并且每一次都积累下’我做到了’的证据来得有效。

’哦，我做到了。’哦，我做到了。’哦，我做到了。’对，也许，也许吧。那么下一次，我就能再次做到。

所以，关键不仅仅在于让自己平静下来。我们的目标并非一直保持平静。

而是松开刹车，让你能够行动起来，把事情做完。

那么，第二步就是：把一切都写下来。无论你是工作项目太多，还是你的 ADHD 大脑像着了火一样，或者你是一位产后父母，带着一个烦躁的宝宝，并且严重睡眠不足，也许你的大脑正喷涌出无数件你应该做的事。

这感觉就像一种生存威胁，会触发战斗、逃跑或僵住反应。

需要记住和关注的事情太多，会超出你梳理和处理信息的能力。

这感觉就是一种威胁。你无法一次性把所有事情都记在脑子里。多任务处理本身就会带来威胁感。

如果你把忙碌的大脑比作一支十色笔，那么不堪重负并非懒惰。

这就好比你的大脑试图同时按下那十种颜色，结果就是哪一种颜色都写不出来。

你的大脑会卡住，因为它试图同时处理所有事情。这种压力本身就令人焦虑，让你更加不堪重负。

当你处于压力状态时，你的情绪会‘关闭’大脑的思考功能，对吧？

以注意力缺陷多动障碍（ADHD）为例，它的一个特点就是让人难以过滤任务、分清主次。

导致你不堪重负的根源在于：任务太多，而重点不清。所以，与其总是说“我快被压垮了，我的生活太难了。”

问题不在于任务本身。你需要做的是理清思路。你需要让思路变得更清晰。

所以，与其说’我快被压垮了’，不如试着这样说：我需要理清主次，然后放慢节奏。

当你这样对自己说时，我需要更清晰的认识。我需要理清主次。当你这样对自己说时，你的大脑就会停止拉响警报，并重新开始梳理信息。

所以，请温柔地对待自己。好的，我们需要更清楚地理解这项任务。

你不需要更多压力。你需要更明确地界定任务。那我该从哪种颜色开始呢？

哦，我就选这个吧。明确任务本身，比试图做完所有事更能减轻焦虑。

我会先试着让自己稳定下来。然后我坐下来，对自己说，好吧，今天有哪些事是绝对必须完成的？

又有哪些可以往后放？就是说，要对自己绝对诚实。这件事…你真的必须这周就做吗？

这件事真的非得今天做不可吗？因为我很多时候那种不堪重负的感觉，就好像是：如果我不立刻、马上把每件事都做好，一切都会崩溃。

一切都会崩溃，你会失去所有，你为之努力的一切都将化为乌有。

必须时刻掌控一切，你才算完美。这就是我内心的真实感受。

是的。而且这让人筋疲力尽。听起来确实让人筋疲力尽。那么，要做到这一点我们需要给大脑减负。

为此，我们需要把脑子里的一切都‘倒出来’。也就是说，你需要把脑子里那堆待办事项统统清空，写到纸上去。

好的。接下来，把所有既不紧急也不重要的事情划掉。然后，只圈出三件可以立刻着手去做的事。

现在，如果把这些都写在一张纸上，你还是觉得压力山大，你可以把所有事情先写在一张纸上，然后把那张纸放到一边，再在便利贴上写下你的下一步行动。

就一小步，好吗？然后，你就可以把那张清单收起来了。

如果你今天完成了便利贴上的那件事那就是成功，好吗？你不是要制定一个完美的计划。

你只是要把大脑里的那些噪音，整理成一份清单。大脑厌恶混乱。

甚于厌恶工作。所以，要将一切外部化。你得把它实体化。

你得把它视觉化。然后，你得选出最重要的事。

这可以作为短期应急方法，比如这种’大脑倾倒’，但从长远来看，如果我们真想管理那种不堪重负的感觉，我们就得建立一些外部系统，来帮你记忆和组织事务，比如视觉日历、白板、或者在手机上设置提醒。

好了，第三步：缩小任务。要把任务缩小到几乎让你觉得不好意思的地步。

有一本很流行的书叫《吃掉那只青蛙》，它的核心理念就是：先做你一天中最难的事。

吃掉那只青蛙。但对于那些因压力或多动症而动弹不得的人来说，这反而可能导致无休无止、令人崩溃的拖延。

’吃掉青蛙’这招就没用了。所以，不如从最小的任务开始，先积累一点动能。

你猜怎么着？哪怕你从一个小到可笑、简单至极的任务开始，都没关系。

当你完成了一个小小的任务，你就会获得信心，这份信心会推动你去做下一个任务。

所以，不要想着去清理整个厨房。你只需要把一个盘子放进水槽。不要总想着：“我必须完成这份报告。”

你应该把任务设定为：“我要打开文档，写下第一行。”

获得一点动力，就能帮助你的神经系统从“我无能为力”转变为“我能做到”。

这能让你的神经系统感到更有能力、更安全，从而帮助你摆脱那种僵住或不堪重负的状态。

顺便一提，多巴胺的作用方式是，行动实际上会激发动力，而不是动力催生行动。

所以多巴胺来自于你去做事。动力也来自于你去做事。我认为这其中很关键的一点是，你可能需要限制感官输入。

就像之前提到的宠物例子，你得一次只处理更少的信息。凯西·戴维斯，她是《如何在家务的海洋中不溺水》一书的作者。

她建议，比如关上乱房间的门，或者用毛巾盖住水槽里的脏碗碟，这样这样你就能减轻那种压迫感，减少内心的噪音，对吧？

一次只专注于解决一个小问题。比如，收好一只袜子，给文档起个标题，写下一句话。

好了，这是第三点。别总想着’先啃硬骨头’，先动起来再说。行动会催生动力。

不要强迫自己先做最难的事。你可以在动力最足的时候，再去处理最困难的任务。

从小处着手，随着行动逐步积累动能。关于动力，还有很重要的一点：庆祝微小的胜利至关重要。

具体来说，可以这样做：打勾。给每件事都打上勾。如果你完成了一件事，但它没在清单上，那就把它写下来，再打个勾。

每打一个勾，都会带来一点多巴胺，让你未来更有动力，也更有能力感。

好的，第四步：让任务更有趣，而非更自律，对吧？你不需要更多自律。

ADHD 不是动力问题。而是多巴胺调节问题。所以，对于 ADHD 大脑来说，枯燥的任务会让人感到生理上的痛苦。

你并不需要更强的自制力。你或许需要让任务变得更有趣。

重申一下，我们是在转换状态，但我们实际上是让状态变得更兴奋，而非更平静。

你可能会问，我该如何增加新奇感？我怎样才能把这件事游戏化？我小时候，必须修剪草坪时，我就会想象，高效修剪草坪是一项奥林匹克运动。

我一边要保证活儿干得好，一边还想挑战速度极限，让割草机的轮子严丝合缝地压在我刚割完的最后一排草茬上。

这就是一种把任务游戏化的方式，对吧？游戏化是切换状态、让任务变得更有趣的好方法。

克莉丝蒂·诺伊里森就是这么做的，比如给自己录像、计时、跳舞，或者叫上朋友一起。

通过录像和增加难度，真的能让你更有动力去做一件事吗？

是的，我得承认这确实让事情变难了，但同时也提供了更多动力。对，就像一种激活，对吧？

就是行动起来。对。是啊，因为我从中得到了那种激励感。而且，怎么说呢，就是有种一种额外的感觉，就是，哦，我同时也在被拍摄。

所以这绝对像是在我脚下添了把火，催着我去完成任务。对。顺便说一下当她注意到这要花多长时间时其实时间并不长她会把这个写下来，这实际上能强化大脑的认知：任务都是可以完成的。

另一位我喜欢的创作者是丹妮·多诺万。她在她的《反计划者计划本》里就提供了一些超棒的方法。

看，我这儿就有一本。这不是付费推广。我只是喜欢丹妮这个人。我来分享几个我最喜欢的方法。

把微波炉计时器当成倒计时时钟。比如，你可以热杯饮料或者剩菜，设定两分钟之类的。

然后你就像比赛一样，看微波炉叮一声响之前，能把厨房收拾多干净。

另一个我非常喜欢的方法叫“拖延症 21 点”。写下三件你拖延已久的小任务，然后和自己玩一把 21 点。

如果你正好拿到 21 点，那就可以一件家务都不用做。如果你的点数在 18 到 20 之间，就立刻完成其中一项任务。

如果你的点数低于 17，那就要完成两项任务。如果你的分数超过了 21 分，那你三件任务都得做。

我觉得这游戏挺有意思的。再来说说‘陪伴共事’，这也是一个增添新鲜感、获得支持和动力的好方法。

我就会用这个方法来对付园艺，或者那些我总想逃避的深度清洁工作。我们会和朋友约好一小时，轮流去对方家里做这些事。

我有个朋友 KJ，她是 ADHD 治疗师，就通过 Zoom 提供虚拟的‘陪伴共事’服务。

或者哪怕只是发条信息给别人，比如说，嘿，‘我准备开始打扫浴室了’；或者在你打扫厨房时，边干活边和他们通电话。

类似这些方法都会有所帮助。顺便提一句 KJ。KJ 还会为我的会员提供直播连线支持。

我的会员服务包含 10 门课程，旨在帮助你调节神经系统、化解焦虑或创伤，并提升情绪处理能力。

所以，如果你想学习更多处理情绪的方法，请查看简介中的链接。

好了，第五步，这是最后一步。不要做时间计划，要用时间盒法。为任务计划一个具体时间，会让人倍感压力。

因为这需要你预测自己的精力、专注度和情绪。

相反，试试时间盒法。设置一个 10 到 20 分钟的计时器，然后一直工作到它响铃为止。

即使任务没有全部完成。这样一来就容易多了，因为你知道这不是个没完没了的任务。

它能帮你避免陷入完美主义和倦怠循环。所以老实说，当你只有几分钟或几小时来处理事情时，反而更容易完成。

读研的时候，我会在枯燥的任务之间来回切换。比如，先做 30 分钟研究，然后骑 30 分钟车，再花 30 分钟写论文，用 20 分钟吃晚饭，最后再读 30 分钟书。

所以，像这样轮换时间段会很有帮助。我认为，强迫自己只投入 20 分钟，是应对困难任务的一个绝佳方法。

这时我就会用到我的番茄钟。这样，当你对自己说：哦，我只需要做 20 分钟，然后就可以停了。

那种不堪重负的感觉就会减轻不少。我用这个方法处理了我的报税。我原以为报税会非常困难和痛苦。

我强迫自己去做。其实只花了… 好吧，感觉花了很长时间，但其实比我预想的要轻松。

所以，当你感到不堪重负或陷入‘ADHD 执行障碍’时，别光想着更努力、更有条理。

试试下面这五个步骤。转换你的神经系统状态，把一切都写下来，把任务拆小，让任务变得有趣，或者设定个时间限制。

好吧，是不是听起来点子太多了？如果你现在正难以开始，有个简单的办法：暂停视频，马上照做。

做 20 个开合跳，写下第一个任务，把它拆小一点。告诉朋友你准备开始了，然后设个 10 分钟倒计时。

好了，就是这样。这就是你起步的方法。就像任何改变一样，你得从足够小的地方开始，小到你确信自己能够完成。

我很想听听你们为了积累动力所做的一件事。

嘿，非常感谢你们来到这里。我由衷感谢你们为每天变得更好所付出的努力。

非常感谢，请多保重。

Does this feel familiar? You can do it! Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you just feel paralyzed?

Maybe the dishes keep piling up the emails keep coming your brain feels like it’s buzzing and no matter how hard you try you just can’t get going.

I gotta get up I gotta get up I gotta get up I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it.

Probably won’t take that long. How long would it actually take? Let’s do it. All right, Christine, you’re gonna get up off this ground.

You’re gonna put on some PJs. Go, let’s go, let’s go, okay. Christy just spent two hours frozen on her porch.

You start wondering, what’s wrong with me? Like, why can’t I just do the thing? But here’s the truth.

Nothing’s wrong with you. Your nervous system is just overwhelmed and it’s hitting the gas and the brakes at the same time.

So in this video I’ll show you five small practical nervous system shifts to help you get moving again.

Gently. Without shame. So whether you have ADHD, depression, burnout or whatever is stopping you we’re going to take a nervous system friendly approach to getting started and getting stuff done.

Okay, so first let’s talk about what’s going on in your nervous system. If we take a look at the polyvagal ladder when we’re feeling overwhelmed it’s when we’re stuck in anxiety, the sympathetic or activated state, And the shutdown state.

It’s like your foot is on the gas and the brakes at the same time. Like I can feel like the overwhelm actually setting in.

And I’m like, oh this feels like we’re gonna be on doing nothing for a few hours and just scroll on our phone.

This feels like I’m going to lay down and I’m not getting back up. And because you’re in a fear state you can’t pressure yourself into thinking more clearly.

That pushes you further down into shutdown. You can’t think your way out of a dysregulated body.

Your emotional brain, the limbic system down in here, cannot tell the difference between a mountain lion and an inbox full of emails.

So its job is survival. So it shuts down your problem solving circuits and pumps out all these stress hormones to get you to fight, flight, or freeze which is how we got stuck here.

Now, a lot of people shame themselves. They think, oh, I should be able to do this.

But the more you pressure yourself the more fear you feel and the harder it is to move up the ladder into action or safety.

So you’ve got to regulate first and then problem solve second. So let’s talk about how to do that.

Step one is to change your state. So instead of pressuring yourself to be different you need to show yourself that you’re capable and that you’re safe.

You need to change your nervous system state before you change your tasks. So let me give you an example.

One morning, my six-year-old would not get out of bed for school. She was just frozen in bed with dread.

Now, I was short on time. I was sleep deprived and I started feeling really irritable.

I did not want to just yell or threaten her. I didn’t want to be all angry. So to be honest I do not do this all the time.

But I thought, oh how can I make this fun? So I told her, I said, hey we can do this the robot way, the dee-doo-dee-doo way or we can do this the angry way.

Now, the robot and the dee-doo-dee-doo way are games that we’ve played before when we’re doing chores and stuff.

So I was super shocked when she chose the angry way because that’s what I was trying to avoid.

But because I’d already framed this as a game when I said to her like in this exaggerated, loud, angry voice, Grace you have to get dressed right now.

She giggled. So then when I grabbed her legs she laughed even more. Doing this is the angry way as a game made the whole thing fun for both of us.

And pretty soon she was getting moving and getting dressed. So making it a game shifts your state from fear to play and helps you get activated instead of frozen.

We’ll talk more about gamifying things later but what’s important here is to do it in your nervous system to do it in your body.

You’ve got to restore safety with your self-talk. So instead of saying something like I’m so overwhelmed I’m such a loser why can’t I just get it done?

All of that adds more fear which keeps pushing us down this ladder, right? Instead, you might use some positive self-talk like saying like, okay there’s no fire here.

There’s no fire. This is not life or death, okay? I’m not a bad person. I’m just having a hard time prioritizing right now.

So you’ve got to use like positive framing in your talk to yourself to help you change your the direction of this arrow from like more and more fear to like more and more safety.

I’ve had to learn this skill over a very long period of time. Like over this, I’ve been practicing it this whole year and I still, you know I still have to like, intentionally do it.

When I’m actually overwhelmed like I’m in the middle of it like I can’t do anything.

I have to first regulate myself. Now let’s talk about how to change that state in your body.

ADHD brains often get stuck because they’re understimulated or overstimulated. Anxious brains often get stuck because they’re flooded with stress chemicals.

So before doing anything let’s provide the body an opportunity to change states. Anything that provides more action or more sense of safety helps.

So there’s a couple things you can try. One is slowing down your body and taking a breath or adding in some vibrations like tapping your face or humming or singing.

All this can help send a message to your nervous system that you’re safe. Or even just talking to yourself can help.

Now, for me, when it comes to deep breathing and slow breathing and calming myself down this honestly literally does not work that well for me.

And here’s why. One of the interesting things about the polyvagal ladder is that most of the time we have to move through activation to regulate.

So for me, I’m usually only able to calm myself down after some kind of movement, like going for a short walk or doing some jumping jacks.

When you move your body it helps your nervous system shift from shutdown to the activated state.

There’s some other things you can try too, like sensory stimulation changing that sensory environment for yourself.

This could look like drinking some really cold water, putting on some high energy music, maybe changing environments like working from a coffee shop or a library.

So the important thing to remember is you’re not lazy. Your brain needs a state shift to unlock action.

So you regulate your nervous system first. Your brain is kind of like a child. It listens more to what you do than what you say.

So you can’t just tell yourself, I’m safe. I’m safe. I shouldn’t feel this way. That doesn’t work.

You have to show your nervous system that you’re safe and capable by doing something with your body and your senses.

Just telling myself, oh I can do it. It’s not as effective as actually like doing many experiments over and over and over again and having evidence every single time.

Oh, I did it. Oh, I did it. Oh, I did it. Yeah, maybe, maybe. This next time I can do it again.

So it’s not just about like getting calm. The goal here isn’t just to be calm all the time.

It’s about taking your foot off of the brake so that you can get some action done.

Okay, so step two is externalize everything. Whether you’ve got too many projects at work or your ADHD brain is like on fire or you’re a postpartum parent with a cranky baby and you have serious sleep deprivation maybe your mind is firing off a million things that you should be doing.

This literally feels like a survival threat and it triggers the fight-flight-freeze response.

Too many things to remember and pay attention to overwhelms your ability to sort and process.

It feels like a threat. You can’t hold everything in your head at once. Multitasking literally feels like a threat.

If you think of your busy brain as a pen with 10 colors, being overwhelmed isn’t laziness.

It’s like your brain is trying to push down all of the 10 colors at once which means none of them work.

Your brain freezes because it’s trying to do everything at once. And that pressure is stressful which adds to your overwhelm.

And when you’re stressed your emotions turn down the thinking part of your brain, right?

ADHD, one of the things with ADHD is it makes it really hard to filter tasks and figure out which one is most important.

The recipe for overwhelm is too many tasks and lack of clarity. So what you need to do instead of saying I’m so overwhelmed my life is so hard.

It’s not the tasks that are the problem. Clarity is what you need to do. You need to increase clarity.

So you need to say, instead of saying, I’m overwhelmed, say I need to decide what matters most and go slow.

When you say this I need more clarity. I need to decide what matters most. When you say this your brain stops firing alarm signals and it starts organizing information again.

So talk to yourself nicely. Okay, we need to increase our clarity around the task.

You don’t need more pressure. You need more clarity. So which color should I start with?

Oh, I’ll go with this one. Clarity reduces anxiety more than doing everything does.

I try to get myself regulated first. And then I sit down and I’m like, okay what absolutely has to be done today?

Or what can be done later? Like, be really honest with yourself. Is it… Do you actually have to do it this week?

Do you actually have to do it today? Because a lot of the time my overwhelm is like if I don’t do everything all the time right now everything’s going to crumble.

Everything is going to crumble and you are going to lose everything and everything you worked for is going to be gone.

Hold everything together all the time and you’re perfect. That is how I feel on the inside.

Yeah. And it’s exhausting. That sounds exhausting. So to do this we need to support our processing.

And to do that we need to externalize everything. That means you need to get this list out of your head and dump your to-do list onto paper.

Okay. Next, cross off anything that’s not urgent or important. And then just circle three actionable things.

Now, if writing all this down on a piece of paper still feels overwhelming you can write it all down on a piece of paper and then put that paper to the side and write on a post-it note the next thing you’re going to do.

Just one small step, okay? And then you can just hide that piece of paper with the list.

If you get your one post-it note done today that’s a success, okay? You’re not trying to make the perfect plan.

You’re just trying to turn that brain noise into a list. The brain hates confusion.

more than it hates work. Okay, so externalize everything. You’ve got to make it physical

you’ve got to make it visual and then you’ve got to choose what’s most important.

Now, this works as a short-term crisis method, like this brain dump, but in the long run if we really want to manage overwhelm we’ve got to create these external systems to help you remember and organize stuff, like visual calendars, using whiteboards or setting reminders on your phone.

Okay, step number three, shrink the task. So shrink the task until it’s almost embarrassing.

There is a popular book out there titled Eat That Frog that basically says do the hardest thing in your day first.

Eat that frog. But for people who are paralyzed with stress or ADHD that can lead to like endless overwhelming procrastination.

Eating the frog is not helpful. So instead, start with the smallest task first and get some momentum.

And guess what? It doesn’t matter if you start with a ridiculously small and easy task.

When you’ve done a tiny task, you gain confidence which fuels momentum for the next task.

So don’t clean the kitchen. You’re going to put a plate in the sink. Don’t say like I have to finish this report.

you’re going to set a task like I’m going to open the document and write the first line.

Getting a little bit of momentum can help your nervous system shift from I’m helpless to I can do this.

It’s going to help your nervous system feel more capable and more safe and that can help you get out of that freeze or overwhelm state.

And by the way the way that dopamine works is that action actually fuels motivation, not the other way around.

So dopamine comes from doing stuff. Motivation comes from doing stuff. One of the things I think is really important with this is you might have to limit your sensory input to do this.

So like with the pet example you’ve got to be pushing down less colors at once. Casey Davis, she’s the author of How to Keep House While Drowning.

She recommends like closing doors to messy rooms in your house or covering up the dishes in your sink with a towel so that you can decrease that overwhelm, decrease that noise, right?

And just work on one tiny problem at a time. Like put one sock away, title of the document, write one sentence.

Okay, so that’s number three. Instead of eat that frog, just get moving. Movement leads to motivation.

Don’t make yourself do the hardest things first. You can do the hardest tasks when you’re most motivated.

Just start small and build momentum as you go. And I think another thing that’s important to know with motivation is it’s really important to celebrate tiny wins.

So that might look like checkmarks. Check off everything. If you finish something and it wasn’t on your checklist write it down and check it off anyway.

Every checkmark gives a little dopamine boost which gives you more motivation in the future and helps you feel more capable.

Okay, step four, make the task more interesting, not more disciplined, right? You don’t need more discipline.

ADHD is not a motivation problem. It’s a dopamine regulation problem. So boring tasks can feel physically painful to ADHD brains.

You don’t need more self-control. You probably need to make the task more interesting.

Again, we’re shifting states but we’re actually making them more intense instead of more calm.

You would ask, how can I add novelty? How could I gamify this? When I was a kid and I had to mow the lawn I would imagine there was an Olympic sport of efficient lawn mowing.

How fast could I do it while doing it well and making the wheel of the lawnmower run just right along the last row that I’d mowed.

And that was one way to gamify this, right? Gamifying is a great way to shift states and make tasks more fun.

So Christy Neuritsen does this by filming herself, timing herself, dancing doing it with friends.

Does adding in filming and adding in intensity help you actually be motivated to do something?

Yes, I would say it does make it harder but it also adds more motivation. Yeah, like activation, right?

Like movement. Yeah. Yeah, because I get that that reward. And like, there’s there’s like this added, like, oh I’m being filmed at the same time.

So it’s, it definitely adds like a fire underneath me to get it done. Yeah. And by the way when she notices how long it takes which is not that long and she writes it down that actually reinforces to the brain that tasks in general are surmountable.

Another favorite creator is Dani Donovan. She has some really amazing ways to do this in her Anti-Planner Planner.

Look, I have it here. This is not a paid promotion. I just like Danny. Here’s a few of my favorites.

Use your microwave timer as a countdown clock. So you put like a warm drink or leftovers in for two minutes or whatever.

And then you race to see how much you can clean in the kitchen in that time before your microwave chimes.

The other one I really like is procrastination blackjack. You write down three small tasks that you’ve been putting off for a while and then you play blackjack with yourself.

If you hit a perfect 21 you don’t have to do any of the chores. If you score 18 to 20 you do one task right away.

If you score under 17 you do two tasks. And if you go over 21 you have to do all three.

I just think that’s a fun game. Okay, body doubling is another great way to add novelty and support and motivation.

I do this with gardening or other deep cleaning chores that I avoid. We schedule an hour with a friend and take turns at each other’s houses doing these things.

My ADHD therapist friend, KJ, offers virtual body doubling over Zoom sessions.

Or even just like texting someone, be like, hey I’m about to start cleaning my bathroom or talking with them on the phone while you clean your kitchen.

Like all of that can help. KJ, just by the way KJ also helps with live calls for my members.

My membership has 10 courses to help you regulate your nervous system and work through anxiety or trauma and build up your emotion processing skills.

So if you wanna learn more ways to process your emotions, check out the link in the description.

Okay, step five, this is the last one. Don’t time plan, time box. Planning a time to work on a task can feel really overwhelming.

because that can require you to kind of predict your energy, your focus, and your mood.

Instead, try time boxing. Set a 10 to 20 minute timer and work until it ends

even if you don’t finish the whole task. And this makes it easier because you know like this is not an endless task.

It’ll help protect you from like perfectionism and burnout cycles. So honestly, it’s easier to get things done when you only have a few minutes or hours to do them.

In grad school, I would rotate through dreary tasks. I would do like 30 minutes of research and then I’d do 30 minutes of biking and then 30 minutes of writing an essay and 20 minutes to eat dinner and then 30 more minutes of reading.

So rotating those times can be really helpful. I think just forcing yourself to commit to something for 20 minutes is a great way to do hard things.

And that’s when I use my Pomodoro timer to help myself with this. So it’s just easier when you say like, oh I only have to work on this for 20 minutes and then I can stop.

decreases that overwhelm quite a bit. I did this with my taxes. I thought they were going to be so hard and so painful.

I forced myself to do them. They only took Okay they took too long but it was less than I expected.

Okay, so when you’re stuck in overwhelm or ADHD paralysis, don’t just try harder and be more organized.

Do these five steps instead. Shift your nervous system state, externalize everything, shrink the task make the task more interesting, or time box.

Okay, is that too many ideas? You could just, if you’re having a hard time getting started right now pause the screen and do this.

20 jumping jacks, write down the first task, make it tinier tell your friend you’re getting started, and set a 10 minute timer.

Okay, there you go. That’s how you’re going to get started. Just like making any change you’ve got to start small enough that you know you can make it happen.

I would love to hear your comments on one thing you did to start building motivation and momentum.

Hey, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate the work you’re putting in to becoming a better person every day.

And thank you so much and please take care.

Does this feel familiar? You can do it! Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you just feel paralyzed?

这种状态，你熟悉吗？你能做到的！你是否曾因压力过大，而感到全身僵住、动弹不得？

Maybe the dishes keep piling up the emails keep coming your brain feels like it’s buzzing and no matter how hard you try you just can’t get going.

也许是碗碟堆积如山邮件源源不断你的大脑仿佛在嗡嗡作响无论你多努力尝试你就是无法开始行动。

I gotta get up I gotta get up I gotta get up I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it.

我必须起来我必须起来我得起来了。我能行。我能行。我能行。我能行。

Probably won’t take that long. How long would it actually take? Let’s do it. All right, Christine, you’re gonna get up off this ground.

应该用不了多久。实际上要花多长时间呢？开始吧。好了，克里斯蒂，你得从地上起来了。

You’re gonna put on some PJs. Go, let’s go, let’s go, okay. Christy just spent two hours frozen on her porch.

你得换上睡衣。好了，我们开始吧。克莉丝蒂刚才在门廊上僵住了整整两个小时。

You start wondering, what’s wrong with me? Like, why can’t I just do the thing? But here’s the truth.

你开始怀疑，我到底怎么了？比如，为什么我就是没法去做那件事？但事实是：

Nothing’s wrong with you. Your nervous system is just overwhelmed and it’s hitting the gas and the brakes at the same time.

你没有任何问题。你的神经系统只是过载了，它在同时踩油门和刹车。

So in this video I’ll show you five small practical nervous system shifts to help you get moving again.

所以在这期视频里，我将向你展示五个微小而实用的神经系统调节方法，帮助你重新动起来。

Gently. Without shame. So whether you have ADHD, depression, burnout or whatever is stopping you we’re going to take a nervous system friendly approach to getting started and getting stuff done.

放轻松。无需羞愧。所以，无论你是患有 ADHD、抑郁症、职业倦怠，还是其他任何让你停滞不前的原因，我们都将采用一种对神经系统友好的方式，帮助你开始行动并完成任务。

Okay, so first let’s talk about what’s going on in your nervous system. If we take a look at the polyvagal ladder when we’re feeling overwhelmed it’s when we’re stuck in anxiety, the sympathetic or activated state, And the shutdown state.

好的，首先我们来谈谈你的神经系统发生了什么。我们来看看多重迷走神经阶梯理论，当我们感到不堪重负时，那通常意味着我们同时卡在两种状态里：一种是焦虑，即交感神经或激活状态；另一种是崩溃或冻结状态。

It’s like your foot is on the gas and the brakes at the same time. Like I can feel like the overwhelm actually setting in.

这就像你的脚同时踩在油门和刹车上。我能感觉到那种不堪重负的感觉真的上来了。

And I’m like, oh this feels like we’re gonna be on doing nothing for a few hours and just scroll on our phone.

然后我就心想，完了。感觉接下来几个小时我们会一事无成，只会不停地刷手机。

This feels like I’m going to lay down and I’m not getting back up. And because you’re in a fear state you can’t pressure yourself into thinking more clearly.

感觉我就要躺下了，而且不会再起来了。因为你正处在恐惧状态中，你无法强迫自己更清晰地思考。

That pushes you further down into shutdown. You can’t think your way out of a dysregulated body.

这反而会把你进一步推向停滞状态。你无法通过思考来摆脱失调的身体状态。

Your emotional brain, the limbic system down in here, cannot tell the difference between a mountain lion and an inbox full of emails.

你的情绪脑，也就是这里的边缘系统，无法分辨一只美洲狮和一堆未读邮件的区别。

So its job is survival. So it shuts down your problem solving circuits and pumps out all these stress hormones to get you to fight, flight, or freeze which is how we got stuck here.

所以它的使命就是生存。于是它会关闭你的问题解决回路，并大量释放压力荷尔蒙，驱使你进入战斗、逃跑或冻结状态，我们就是这样被困住的。

Now, a lot of people shame themselves. They think, oh, I should be able to do this.

很多人会为此感到羞耻。他们会想，哦，我本应该能做到的。

But the more you pressure yourself the more fear you feel and the harder it is to move up the ladder into action or safety.

但你越是给自己施压，感受到的恐惧就越多，也就越难摆脱困境，进入行动或安全状态。

So you’ve got to regulate first and then problem solve second. So let’s talk about how to do that.

所以你必须先调节状态，再解决问题。那么，我们来谈谈具体该怎么做。

Step one is to change your state. So instead of pressuring yourself to be different you need to show yourself that you’re capable and that you’re safe.

第一步，是调整你的身心状态。所以，与其强迫自己改变，你需要让自己感受到，你是有能力的，并且是安全的。

You need to change your nervous system state before you change your tasks. So let me give you an example.

你需要先调节好神经系统状态，再去处理具体事情。让我来举个例子。

One morning, my six-year-old would not get out of bed for school. She was just frozen in bed with dread.

一天早上，我六岁的女儿不肯起床去上学。她只是吓得僵在床上，动弹不得。

Now, I was short on time. I was sleep deprived and I started feeling really irritable.

当时，我时间很紧。我睡眠不足，开始感到非常烦躁。

I did not want to just yell or threaten her. I didn’t want to be all angry. So to be honest I do not do this all the time.

我不想只是对她大吼大叫或威胁她。我不想搞得怒气冲冲的。老实说，我并不是总这么做。

But I thought, oh how can I make this fun? So I told her, I said, hey we can do this the robot way, the dee-doo-dee-doo way or we can do this the angry way.

但我当时想，哦，怎么才能让这事变得有趣呢？于是我对她说，嘿，我们可以用机器人模式，或者嘀嘟嘀嘟模式，或者用生气模式。

Now, the robot and the dee-doo-dee-doo way are games that we’ve played before when we’re doing chores and stuff.

要知道，机器人模式和嘀嘟嘀嘟模式，都是我们以前玩过的游戏，在我们做家务之类的时候。

So I was super shocked when she chose the angry way because that’s what I was trying to avoid.

我当时真的非常震惊她居然选择了“愤怒模式”因为这正是我想避免的。

But because I’d already framed this as a game when I said to her like in this exaggerated, loud, angry voice, Grace you have to get dressed right now.

但因为我早就把这当成一个游戏了当我用一种夸张、响亮、带着怒气的嗓音对她说：“格蕾丝你现在必须马上穿好衣服。”

She giggled. So then when I grabbed her legs she laughed even more. Doing this is the angry way as a game made the whole thing fun for both of us.

她咯咯地笑了。然后当我抓住她的腿时她笑得更厉害了。把“愤怒模式”当游戏玩，让我们俩都觉得整个过程很有趣。

And pretty soon she was getting moving and getting dressed. So making it a game shifts your state from fear to play and helps you get activated instead of frozen.

很快，她就动了起来，把衣服穿好了。所以，把一件事变成游戏，能将你的状态从恐惧转向玩耍，帮助你行动起来，而非僵在原地。

We’ll talk more about gamifying things later but what’s important here is to do it in your nervous system to do it in your body.

关于如何将事情游戏化，我们稍后再详谈，但这里的关键是，要在你的神经系统里在你的身体里实践它。

You’ve got to restore safety with your self-talk. So instead of saying something like I’m so overwhelmed I’m such a loser why can’t I just get it done?

你需要通过自我对话来重建内心的安全感。所以，与其说这样的话：“我快被压垮了，我真是个废物，为什么我就是完成不了？”

All of that adds more fear which keeps pushing us down this ladder, right? Instead, you might use some positive self-talk like saying like, okay there’s no fire here.

所有这些都会让我们更恐惧让我们在这阶梯上不断下滑，对吧？相反，你可以尝试积极的自我对话，比如对自己说：好了这里没有着火。

There’s no fire. This is not life or death, okay? I’m not a bad person. I’m just having a hard time prioritizing right now.

没有着火。这不是生死攸关的事，好吗？我不是坏人。我只是现在很难分清主次。

So you’ve got to use like positive framing in your talk to yourself to help you change your the direction of this arrow from like more and more fear to like more and more safety.

所以，你必须用积极的话术与自己对话，帮助你将箭头的方向，从越来越多的恐惧，转向越来越多的安全感。

I’ve had to learn this skill over a very long period of time. Like over this, I’ve been practicing it this whole year and I still, you know I still have to like, intentionally do it.

我花了很长时间才学会这项技能。就拿这件事来说，我练了整整一年，但你知道，我还是得刻意地、有意识地去运用它。

When I’m actually overwhelmed like I’m in the middle of it like I can’t do anything.

当我真的感到不堪重负时，深陷其中，什么都做不了。

I have to first regulate myself. Now let’s talk about how to change that state in your body.

我必须先调节好自己的状态。现在我们来谈谈如何改变你身体的这种状态。

ADHD brains often get stuck because they’re understimulated or overstimulated. Anxious brains often get stuck because they’re flooded with stress chemicals.

ADHD（多动症）的大脑常常会卡住，因为它们要么刺激不足，要么刺激过度。焦虑的大脑常常会陷入停滞因为其中充斥了压力荷尔蒙。

So before doing anything let’s provide the body an opportunity to change states. Anything that provides more action or more sense of safety helps.

所以，在采取任何行动之前我们要先帮助身体转换状态。任何能促进活动或增强安全感的方式都管用。

So there’s a couple things you can try. One is slowing down your body and taking a breath or adding in some vibrations like tapping your face or humming or singing.

这里有几个方法可以尝试。一种是放慢身体节奏、深呼吸，或者通过产生一些律动来调节，比如轻拍脸颊、哼歌或唱歌。

All this can help send a message to your nervous system that you’re safe. Or even just talking to yourself can help.

这些做法都能向你的神经系统发送安全信号。甚至只是自言自语也会有帮助。

Now, for me, when it comes to deep breathing and slow breathing and calming myself down this honestly literally does not work that well for me.

但对我来说，像深呼吸、慢呼吸这些让自己平静下来的方法老实说，这招对我真的不太管用。

And here’s why. One of the interesting things about the polyvagal ladder is that most of the time we have to move through activation to regulate.

原因在于。多重迷走神经阶梯理论有个有趣之处：大多数时候，我们必须先经历激活状态，才能实现调节。

So for me, I’m usually only able to calm myself down after some kind of movement, like going for a short walk or doing some jumping jacks.

所以对我来说，我通常只有在进行某种身体活动之后才能让自己平静下来，比如短途散步或做几个开合跳。

When you move your body it helps your nervous system shift from shutdown to the activated state.

当你活动身体时，它有助于你的神经系统从关闭状态过渡到激活状态。

There’s some other things you can try too, like sensory stimulation changing that sensory environment for yourself.

你还可以尝试其他方法，比如感官刺激，为自己改变一下感官环境。

This could look like drinking some really cold water, putting on some high energy music, maybe changing environments like working from a coffee shop or a library.

具体可以试试喝点冰水、放点动感音乐，或者干脆换个环境，比如去咖啡馆或图书馆工作。

So the important thing to remember is you’re not lazy. Your brain needs a state shift to unlock action.

所以关键要明白，你并不是懒惰。你的大脑需要一次状态转换，才能启动行为。

So you regulate your nervous system first. Your brain is kind of like a child. It listens more to what you do than what you say.

所以，你要先调节你的神经系统。你的大脑有点像个小孩子。它更相信你的行动，而不是你的说教。

So you can’t just tell yourself, I’m safe. I’m safe. I shouldn’t feel this way. That doesn’t work.

所以，你不能只是心里默念：“我很安全，我很安全，我不该有这种感觉。”这样是没用的。

You have to show your nervous system that you’re safe and capable by doing something with your body and your senses.

你需要通过身体和感官的实际行动，向你的神经系统表明：你是安全的，并且有能力应对。

Just telling myself, oh I can do it. It’s not as effective as actually like doing many experiments over and over and over again and having evidence every single time.

如果只是心里默念：’哦，我能行。’这远不如亲身去反复实践、反复尝试，并且每一次都积累下’我做到了’的证据来得有效。

Oh, I did it. Oh, I did it. Oh, I did it. Yeah, maybe, maybe. This next time I can do it again.

’哦，我做到了。’哦，我做到了。’哦，我做到了。’对，也许，也许吧。那么下一次，我就能再次做到。

So it’s not just about like getting calm. The goal here isn’t just to be calm all the time.

所以，关键不仅仅在于让自己平静下来。我们的目标并非一直保持平静。

It’s about taking your foot off of the brake so that you can get some action done.

而是松开刹车，让你能够行动起来，把事情做完。

Okay, so step two is externalize everything. Whether you’ve got too many projects at work or your ADHD brain is like on fire or you’re a postpartum parent with a cranky baby and you have serious sleep deprivation maybe your mind is firing off a million things that you should be doing.

那么，第二步就是：把一切都写下来。无论你是工作项目太多，还是你的 ADHD 大脑像着了火一样，或者你是一位产后父母，带着一个烦躁的宝宝，并且严重睡眠不足，也许你的大脑正喷涌出无数件你应该做的事。

This literally feels like a survival threat and it triggers the fight-flight-freeze response.

这感觉就像一种生存威胁，会触发战斗、逃跑或僵住反应。

Too many things to remember and pay attention to overwhelms your ability to sort and process.

需要记住和关注的事情太多，会超出你梳理和处理信息的能力。

It feels like a threat. You can’t hold everything in your head at once. Multitasking literally feels like a threat.

这感觉就是一种威胁。你无法一次性把所有事情都记在脑子里。多任务处理本身就会带来威胁感。

If you think of your busy brain as a pen with 10 colors, being overwhelmed isn’t laziness.

如果你把忙碌的大脑比作一支十色笔，那么不堪重负并非懒惰。

It’s like your brain is trying to push down all of the 10 colors at once which means none of them work.

这就好比你的大脑试图同时按下那十种颜色，结果就是哪一种颜色都写不出来。

Your brain freezes because it’s trying to do everything at once. And that pressure is stressful which adds to your overwhelm.

你的大脑会卡住，因为它试图同时处理所有事情。这种压力本身就令人焦虑，让你更加不堪重负。

And when you’re stressed your emotions turn down the thinking part of your brain, right?

当你处于压力状态时，你的情绪会‘关闭’大脑的思考功能，对吧？

ADHD, one of the things with ADHD is it makes it really hard to filter tasks and figure out which one is most important.

以注意力缺陷多动障碍（ADHD）为例，它的一个特点就是让人难以过滤任务、分清主次。

The recipe for overwhelm is too many tasks and lack of clarity. So what you need to do instead of saying I’m so overwhelmed my life is so hard.

导致你不堪重负的根源在于：任务太多，而重点不清。所以，与其总是说“我快被压垮了，我的生活太难了。”

It’s not the tasks that are the problem. Clarity is what you need to do. You need to increase clarity.

问题不在于任务本身。你需要做的是理清思路。你需要让思路变得更清晰。

So you need to say, instead of saying, I’m overwhelmed, say I need to decide what matters most and go slow.

所以，与其说’我快被压垮了’，不如试着这样说：我需要理清主次，然后放慢节奏。

When you say this I need more clarity. I need to decide what matters most. When you say this your brain stops firing alarm signals and it starts organizing information again.

当你这样对自己说时，我需要更清晰的认识。我需要理清主次。当你这样对自己说时，你的大脑就会停止拉响警报，并重新开始梳理信息。

So talk to yourself nicely. Okay, we need to increase our clarity around the task.

所以，请温柔地对待自己。好的，我们需要更清楚地理解这项任务。

You don’t need more pressure. You need more clarity. So which color should I start with?

你不需要更多压力。你需要更明确地界定任务。那我该从哪种颜色开始呢？

Oh, I’ll go with this one. Clarity reduces anxiety more than doing everything does.

哦，我就选这个吧。明确任务本身，比试图做完所有事更能减轻焦虑。

I try to get myself regulated first. And then I sit down and I’m like, okay what absolutely has to be done today?

我会先试着让自己稳定下来。然后我坐下来，对自己说，好吧，今天有哪些事是绝对必须完成的？

Or what can be done later? Like, be really honest with yourself. Is it… Do you actually have to do it this week?

又有哪些可以往后放？就是说，要对自己绝对诚实。这件事…你真的必须这周就做吗？

Do you actually have to do it today? Because a lot of the time my overwhelm is like if I don’t do everything all the time right now everything’s going to crumble.

这件事真的非得今天做不可吗？因为我很多时候那种不堪重负的感觉，就好像是：如果我不立刻、马上把每件事都做好，一切都会崩溃。

Everything is going to crumble and you are going to lose everything and everything you worked for is going to be gone.

一切都会崩溃，你会失去所有，你为之努力的一切都将化为乌有。

Hold everything together all the time and you’re perfect. That is how I feel on the inside.

必须时刻掌控一切，你才算完美。这就是我内心的真实感受。

Yeah. And it’s exhausting. That sounds exhausting. So to do this we need to support our processing.

是的。而且这让人筋疲力尽。听起来确实让人筋疲力尽。那么，要做到这一点我们需要给大脑减负。

And to do that we need to externalize everything. That means you need to get this list out of your head and dump your to-do list onto paper.

为此，我们需要把脑子里的一切都‘倒出来’。也就是说，你需要把脑子里那堆待办事项统统清空，写到纸上去。

Okay. Next, cross off anything that’s not urgent or important. And then just circle three actionable things.

好的。接下来，把所有既不紧急也不重要的事情划掉。然后，只圈出三件可以立刻着手去做的事。

Now, if writing all this down on a piece of paper still feels overwhelming you can write it all down on a piece of paper and then put that paper to the side and write on a post-it note the next thing you’re going to do.

现在，如果把这些都写在一张纸上，你还是觉得压力山大，你可以把所有事情先写在一张纸上，然后把那张纸放到一边，再在便利贴上写下你的下一步行动。

Just one small step, okay? And then you can just hide that piece of paper with the list.

就一小步，好吗？然后，你就可以把那张清单收起来了。

If you get your one post-it note done today that’s a success, okay? You’re not trying to make the perfect plan.

如果你今天完成了便利贴上的那件事那就是成功，好吗？你不是要制定一个完美的计划。

You’re just trying to turn that brain noise into a list. The brain hates confusion.

你只是要把大脑里的那些噪音，整理成一份清单。大脑厌恶混乱。

more than it hates work. Okay, so externalize everything. You’ve got to make it physical

甚于厌恶工作。所以，要将一切外部化。你得把它实体化。

you’ve got to make it visual and then you’ve got to choose what’s most important.

你得把它视觉化。然后，你得选出最重要的事。

Now, this works as a short-term crisis method, like this brain dump, but in the long run if we really want to manage overwhelm we’ve got to create these external systems to help you remember and organize stuff, like visual calendars, using whiteboards or setting reminders on your phone.

这可以作为短期应急方法，比如这种’大脑倾倒’，但从长远来看，如果我们真想管理那种不堪重负的感觉，我们就得建立一些外部系统，来帮你记忆和组织事务，比如视觉日历、白板、或者在手机上设置提醒。

Okay, step number three, shrink the task. So shrink the task until it’s almost embarrassing.

好了，第三步：缩小任务。要把任务缩小到几乎让你觉得不好意思的地步。

There is a popular book out there titled Eat That Frog that basically says do the hardest thing in your day first.

有一本很流行的书叫《吃掉那只青蛙》，它的核心理念就是：先做你一天中最难的事。

Eat that frog. But for people who are paralyzed with stress or ADHD that can lead to like endless overwhelming procrastination.

吃掉那只青蛙。但对于那些因压力或多动症而动弹不得的人来说，这反而可能导致无休无止、令人崩溃的拖延。

Eating the frog is not helpful. So instead, start with the smallest task first and get some momentum.

’吃掉青蛙’这招就没用了。所以，不如从最小的任务开始，先积累一点动能。

And guess what? It doesn’t matter if you start with a ridiculously small and easy task.

你猜怎么着？哪怕你从一个小到可笑、简单至极的任务开始，都没关系。

When you’ve done a tiny task, you gain confidence which fuels momentum for the next task.

当你完成了一个小小的任务，你就会获得信心，这份信心会推动你去做下一个任务。

So don’t clean the kitchen. You’re going to put a plate in the sink. Don’t say like I have to finish this report.

所以，不要想着去清理整个厨房。你只需要把一个盘子放进水槽。不要总想着：“我必须完成这份报告。”

you’re going to set a task like I’m going to open the document and write the first line.

你应该把任务设定为：“我要打开文档，写下第一行。”

Getting a little bit of momentum can help your nervous system shift from I’m helpless to I can do this.

获得一点动力，就能帮助你的神经系统从“我无能为力”转变为“我能做到”。

It’s going to help your nervous system feel more capable and more safe and that can help you get out of that freeze or overwhelm state.

这能让你的神经系统感到更有能力、更安全，从而帮助你摆脱那种僵住或不堪重负的状态。

And by the way the way that dopamine works is that action actually fuels motivation, not the other way around.

顺便一提，多巴胺的作用方式是，行动实际上会激发动力，而不是动力催生行动。

So dopamine comes from doing stuff. Motivation comes from doing stuff. One of the things I think is really important with this is you might have to limit your sensory input to do this.

所以多巴胺来自于你去做事。动力也来自于你去做事。我认为这其中很关键的一点是，你可能需要限制感官输入。

So like with the pet example you’ve got to be pushing down less colors at once. Casey Davis, she’s the author of How to Keep House While Drowning.

就像之前提到的宠物例子，你得一次只处理更少的信息。凯西·戴维斯，她是《如何在家务的海洋中不溺水》一书的作者。

She recommends like closing doors to messy rooms in your house or covering up the dishes in your sink with a towel so that you can decrease that overwhelm, decrease that noise, right?

她建议，比如关上乱房间的门，或者用毛巾盖住水槽里的脏碗碟，这样这样你就能减轻那种压迫感，减少内心的噪音，对吧？

And just work on one tiny problem at a time. Like put one sock away, title of the document, write one sentence.

一次只专注于解决一个小问题。比如，收好一只袜子，给文档起个标题，写下一句话。

Okay, so that’s number three. Instead of eat that frog, just get moving. Movement leads to motivation.

好了，这是第三点。别总想着’先啃硬骨头’，先动起来再说。行动会催生动力。

Don’t make yourself do the hardest things first. You can do the hardest tasks when you’re most motivated.

不要强迫自己先做最难的事。你可以在动力最足的时候，再去处理最困难的任务。

Just start small and build momentum as you go. And I think another thing that’s important to know with motivation is it’s really important to celebrate tiny wins.

从小处着手，随着行动逐步积累动能。关于动力，还有很重要的一点：庆祝微小的胜利至关重要。

So that might look like checkmarks. Check off everything. If you finish something and it wasn’t on your checklist write it down and check it off anyway.

具体来说，可以这样做：打勾。给每件事都打上勾。如果你完成了一件事，但它没在清单上，那就把它写下来，再打个勾。

Every checkmark gives a little dopamine boost which gives you more motivation in the future and helps you feel more capable.

每打一个勾，都会带来一点多巴胺，让你未来更有动力，也更有能力感。

Okay, step four, make the task more interesting, not more disciplined, right? You don’t need more discipline.

好的，第四步：让任务更有趣，而非更自律，对吧？你不需要更多自律。

ADHD is not a motivation problem. It’s a dopamine regulation problem. So boring tasks can feel physically painful to ADHD brains.

ADHD 不是动力问题。而是多巴胺调节问题。所以，对于 ADHD 大脑来说，枯燥的任务会让人感到生理上的痛苦。

You don’t need more self-control. You probably need to make the task more interesting.

你并不需要更强的自制力。你或许需要让任务变得更有趣。

Again, we’re shifting states but we’re actually making them more intense instead of more calm.

重申一下，我们是在转换状态，但我们实际上是让状态变得更兴奋，而非更平静。

You would ask, how can I add novelty? How could I gamify this? When I was a kid and I had to mow the lawn I would imagine there was an Olympic sport of efficient lawn mowing.

你可能会问，我该如何增加新奇感？我怎样才能把这件事游戏化？我小时候，必须修剪草坪时，我就会想象，高效修剪草坪是一项奥林匹克运动。

How fast could I do it while doing it well and making the wheel of the lawnmower run just right along the last row that I’d mowed.

我一边要保证活儿干得好，一边还想挑战速度极限，让割草机的轮子严丝合缝地压在我刚割完的最后一排草茬上。

And that was one way to gamify this, right? Gamifying is a great way to shift states and make tasks more fun.

这就是一种把任务游戏化的方式，对吧？游戏化是切换状态、让任务变得更有趣的好方法。

So Christy Neuritsen does this by filming herself, timing herself, dancing doing it with friends.

克莉丝蒂·诺伊里森就是这么做的，比如给自己录像、计时、跳舞，或者叫上朋友一起。

Does adding in filming and adding in intensity help you actually be motivated to do something?

通过录像和增加难度，真的能让你更有动力去做一件事吗？

Yes, I would say it does make it harder but it also adds more motivation. Yeah, like activation, right?

是的，我得承认这确实让事情变难了，但同时也提供了更多动力。对，就像一种激活，对吧？

Like movement. Yeah. Yeah, because I get that that reward. And like, there’s there’s like this added, like, oh I’m being filmed at the same time.

就是行动起来。对。是啊，因为我从中得到了那种激励感。而且，怎么说呢，就是有种一种额外的感觉，就是，哦，我同时也在被拍摄。

So it’s, it definitely adds like a fire underneath me to get it done. Yeah. And by the way when she notices how long it takes which is not that long and she writes it down that actually reinforces to the brain that tasks in general are surmountable.

所以这绝对像是在我脚下添了把火，催着我去完成任务。对。顺便说一下当她注意到这要花多长时间时其实时间并不长她会把这个写下来，这实际上能强化大脑的认知：任务都是可以完成的。

Another favorite creator is Dani Donovan. She has some really amazing ways to do this in her Anti-Planner Planner.

另一位我喜欢的创作者是丹妮·多诺万。她在她的《反计划者计划本》里就提供了一些超棒的方法。

Look, I have it here. This is not a paid promotion. I just like Danny. Here’s a few of my favorites.

看，我这儿就有一本。这不是付费推广。我只是喜欢丹妮这个人。我来分享几个我最喜欢的方法。

Use your microwave timer as a countdown clock. So you put like a warm drink or leftovers in for two minutes or whatever.

把微波炉计时器当成倒计时时钟。比如，你可以热杯饮料或者剩菜，设定两分钟之类的。

And then you race to see how much you can clean in the kitchen in that time before your microwave chimes.

然后你就像比赛一样，看微波炉叮一声响之前，能把厨房收拾多干净。

The other one I really like is procrastination blackjack. You write down three small tasks that you’ve been putting off for a while and then you play blackjack with yourself.

另一个我非常喜欢的方法叫“拖延症 21 点”。写下三件你拖延已久的小任务，然后和自己玩一把 21 点。

If you hit a perfect 21 you don’t have to do any of the chores. If you score 18 to 20 you do one task right away.

如果你正好拿到 21 点，那就可以一件家务都不用做。如果你的点数在 18 到 20 之间，就立刻完成其中一项任务。

If you score under 17 you do two tasks. And if you go over 21 you have to do all three.

如果你的点数低于 17，那就要完成两项任务。如果你的分数超过了 21 分，那你三件任务都得做。

I just think that’s a fun game. Okay, body doubling is another great way to add novelty and support and motivation.

我觉得这游戏挺有意思的。再来说说‘陪伴共事’，这也是一个增添新鲜感、获得支持和动力的好方法。

I do this with gardening or other deep cleaning chores that I avoid. We schedule an hour with a friend and take turns at each other’s houses doing these things.

我就会用这个方法来对付园艺，或者那些我总想逃避的深度清洁工作。我们会和朋友约好一小时，轮流去对方家里做这些事。

My ADHD therapist friend, KJ, offers virtual body doubling over Zoom sessions.

我有个朋友 KJ，她是 ADHD 治疗师，就通过 Zoom 提供虚拟的‘陪伴共事’服务。

Or even just like texting someone, be like, hey I’m about to start cleaning my bathroom or talking with them on the phone while you clean your kitchen.

或者哪怕只是发条信息给别人，比如说，嘿，‘我准备开始打扫浴室了’；或者在你打扫厨房时，边干活边和他们通电话。

Like all of that can help. KJ, just by the way KJ also helps with live calls for my members.

类似这些方法都会有所帮助。顺便提一句 KJ。KJ 还会为我的会员提供直播连线支持。

My membership has 10 courses to help you regulate your nervous system and work through anxiety or trauma and build up your emotion processing skills.

我的会员服务包含 10 门课程，旨在帮助你调节神经系统、化解焦虑或创伤，并提升情绪处理能力。

So if you wanna learn more ways to process your emotions, check out the link in the description.

所以，如果你想学习更多处理情绪的方法，请查看简介中的链接。

Okay, step five, this is the last one. Don’t time plan, time box. Planning a time to work on a task can feel really overwhelming.

好了，第五步，这是最后一步。不要做时间计划，要用时间盒法。为任务计划一个具体时间，会让人倍感压力。

because that can require you to kind of predict your energy, your focus, and your mood.

因为这需要你预测自己的精力、专注度和情绪。

Instead, try time boxing. Set a 10 to 20 minute timer and work until it ends

相反，试试时间盒法。设置一个 10 到 20 分钟的计时器，然后一直工作到它响铃为止。

even if you don’t finish the whole task. And this makes it easier because you know like this is not an endless task.

即使任务没有全部完成。这样一来就容易多了，因为你知道这不是个没完没了的任务。

It’ll help protect you from like perfectionism and burnout cycles. So honestly, it’s easier to get things done when you only have a few minutes or hours to do them.

它能帮你避免陷入完美主义和倦怠循环。所以老实说，当你只有几分钟或几小时来处理事情时，反而更容易完成。

In grad school, I would rotate through dreary tasks. I would do like 30 minutes of research and then I’d do 30 minutes of biking and then 30 minutes of writing an essay and 20 minutes to eat dinner and then 30 more minutes of reading.

读研的时候，我会在枯燥的任务之间来回切换。比如，先做 30 分钟研究，然后骑 30 分钟车，再花 30 分钟写论文，用 20 分钟吃晚饭，最后再读 30 分钟书。

So rotating those times can be really helpful. I think just forcing yourself to commit to something for 20 minutes is a great way to do hard things.

所以，像这样轮换时间段会很有帮助。我认为，强迫自己只投入 20 分钟，是应对困难任务的一个绝佳方法。

And that’s when I use my Pomodoro timer to help myself with this. So it’s just easier when you say like, oh I only have to work on this for 20 minutes and then I can stop.

这时我就会用到我的番茄钟。这样，当你对自己说：哦，我只需要做 20 分钟，然后就可以停了。

decreases that overwhelm quite a bit. I did this with my taxes. I thought they were going to be so hard and so painful.

那种不堪重负的感觉就会减轻不少。我用这个方法处理了我的报税。我原以为报税会非常困难和痛苦。

I forced myself to do them. They only took Okay they took too long but it was less than I expected.

我强迫自己去做。其实只花了… 好吧，感觉花了很长时间，但其实比我预想的要轻松。

Okay, so when you’re stuck in overwhelm or ADHD paralysis, don’t just try harder and be more organized.

所以，当你感到不堪重负或陷入‘ADHD 执行障碍’时，别光想着更努力、更有条理。

Do these five steps instead. Shift your nervous system state, externalize everything, shrink the task make the task more interesting, or time box.

试试下面这五个步骤。转换你的神经系统状态，把一切都写下来，把任务拆小，让任务变得有趣，或者设定个时间限制。

Okay, is that too many ideas? You could just, if you’re having a hard time getting started right now pause the screen and do this.

好吧，是不是听起来点子太多了？如果你现在正难以开始，有个简单的办法：暂停视频，马上照做。

20 jumping jacks, write down the first task, make it tinier tell your friend you’re getting started, and set a 10 minute timer.

做 20 个开合跳，写下第一个任务，把它拆小一点。告诉朋友你准备开始了，然后设个 10 分钟倒计时。

Okay, there you go. That’s how you’re going to get started. Just like making any change you’ve got to start small enough that you know you can make it happen.

好了，就是这样。这就是你起步的方法。就像任何改变一样，你得从足够小的地方开始，小到你确信自己能够完成。

I would love to hear your comments on one thing you did to start building motivation and momentum.

我很想听听你们为了积累动力所做的一件事。

Hey, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate the work you’re putting in to becoming a better person every day.

嘿，非常感谢你们来到这里。我由衷感谢你们为每天变得更好所付出的努力。

And thank you so much and please take care.

非常感谢，请多保重。