为什么你明知会后悔还是改不掉坏习惯

我们生活在一个即时满足的时代。唾手可得的快乐无处不在，它们不断地乞求我们的关注。我们甚至无需离开沙发，就能沉溺于社交媒体、网络购物、流媒体、赌博和成人内容。各种物质成瘾品和垃圾食品也唾手可得，至少西方世界如此。因此，我们中的许多人养成了坏习惯。有些可能无伤大雅。另一些则可能严重损害我们的福祉。许多人挣扎着想要摆脱这些坏习惯，可能努力多年，却只是一次次地复发。

斯多葛派哲学家们深谙此道。斯多葛学派认为，过度的欲望是一种激情一种非理性的内心纷扰，如果我们屈从于它，就可能给我们招来祸患。爱比克泰德曾广泛论述如何应对激情，包括那些常常诱使我们误入歧途的诱惑。他尤其给出了一条我们常常忽视的建议，这条建议关乎我们如何改掉坏习惯。本视频将基于爱比克泰德的智慧，探讨一种改掉坏习惯的简单方法。他的建议对我个人助益良多，尤其帮我克服了过去的酗酒以及其他不健康的享乐行为。

斯多葛派所说的'激情'（epithumia），是一种对预期快乐的渴望或向往。即我们希望在将来体验到的某种东西。正是这种冲动，让我们打开冰箱找不健康的零食，或是点开浏览器访问The Hub。我们越是屈服于这种冲动，它日后卷土重来时就会越强烈，因为习惯会变得越来越根深蒂固。这一机制已得到现代心理学的充分证实。因此，我们通过重复来建立习惯，坏习惯的形成也是如此。所以说，改掉习惯的关键，就在于不要向它屈服。反复克制每一次成功，都会削弱它。

然而，问题在于知易行难。当我们产生强烈的欲望时要抗拒它就很难了。它会蒙蔽我们的判断，扰乱我们的理智。我们忘记了明天，也忘记了行为的长期后果，因为我们太渴望那预期中的快乐了。懊悔、内疚以及事后的感受，都被抛诸脑后。我们眼里仿佛只剩下那承诺的快乐。也就是斯多葛派所说的 hedone（一种快乐）。可一旦我们屈服于欲望，体验了那种 hedone（快乐），却发现它往往比想象中更短暂，更不尽人意，我们才想起为何曾无数次告诫自己不要这么做。如今我们正承受着后果，并发誓要戒除。但之后，我们发现自己又重蹈覆辙，因为诱惑似乎强大到无法抗拒。这令人沮丧，令人灰心。我们可能会觉得这情况已无可救药。

但幸运的是，爱比克泰德为我们提供了一些建议。这里就有一个很好的例子，我们可以称之为斯多葛式正念。类似于佛教正念，它要求我们密切关注内心发生的一切。具体而言，就是那种对愉悦的期许浮现时，我们对此产生的反应。而不是立即付诸行动或压抑它，爱比克泰德请我们稍作停顿。与其让自己被对愉悦的渴望裹挟，我们退后一步，观察它。这当然不容易，尤其是在欲望强烈的时候。当这头‘怪兽’还弱小的时候，可以说，击败它就容易得多。一旦欲望积聚起势头，抵抗起来就会困难得多。以我的经验，关键在于欲望一冒头就觉察到它，而它常常是悄无声息地潜入。正因如此，正念才如此宝贵。它能帮助我们在冲动掌控大局之前，就意识到它们。

所以，这是第一步。现在，爱比克泰德要我们展望未来。更具体地说，他希望我们想象两种可能的结果：一种会带来痛苦与悔恨，另一种则会带来喜悦与自尊。我们先从第一种开始。引文到此为止。

这部分建议其实很简单我相信你以前也尝试过。我们提醒自己，尽管会享受到快乐但事后也必须面对其后果。换句话说，我们要看得比眼前的好处更远，考虑如果我们接受了它，随之可能而来的痛苦。对很多人来说，这就够了。当我想到酗酒后那可怕的宿醉以及可能持续数日的抑郁情绪现在这通常足以让我在受诱惑时远离酒精。

但情况并非总是如此而且说实话，现在有时也并非如此。在许多情况下，这种方法根本不够。欲望总有办法扭曲我们的判断。我们开始讨价还价。我们告诉自己，后果不会那么糟糕并且认为那种快乐完全值得这个代价。也许，有时候确实如此。但更多时候，我们只是被激情的力量引入了歧途。那么，正如我之前提到的爱比克泰德也希望我们设想一个积极的结果，他说让我们看看他这么说的用意。

想象我们仍处在等待之中。我们仍然按兵不动，观察着想要戒除的习惯，感受着对某种特定快乐的渴望。假设恐惧不起作用。那正向强化呢？如果我们用转瞬即逝的快乐，去换取更持久、更有建设性的快乐呢？

在当今世界，快乐通常意味着增加点什么。一次体验、一次购物、一顿饭、一杯酒、再看一集剧、再刷一会儿TikTok。我们颂扬消费，却很少思考不消费带来的快乐，即“错过的快乐”。爱比克泰德明确指出，这些快乐之一正是源于克制欲望而产生的满足感。无论这快乐源于一夜酗酒、一次垃圾食品的暴食，还是在The Hub上消磨整晚。又或者是The Hamster。我们都可以为自己抵抗住了诱惑而给自己鼓鼓掌。

现在，如果这听起来有点蹩脚或不尽人意，那么，不妨听听爱比克泰德接下来是怎么说的。即使它在你看来是一种适时的享乐，也要当心，别让它那诱人、讨喜、迷人的力量征服了你，而是要转而想想，意识到自己赢得了如此巨大的胜利，感觉有多好。引述结束。

通过不屈服，我们赢得了一场胜利。我们战胜了，并且让自己为此感到棒极了。这看似是件小事，但它是一份持续带来回报的礼物。我们随时都可以重温这份喜悦。我们可以不断提醒自己是如何战胜诱惑的，每次都感到满足。此外，我们变得更强大，而习惯则变得更微弱。所以，这是一场影响深远的胜利。而我们越是频繁地获得这种快乐，我们的力量就会越强。

久而久之，我们会获得更强的成就感、自尊心和自信心。我们开始更认可自己。照镜子时，我们也会喜欢镜中的自己。要我说，如果这都不算值得追求的快乐，那什么才算呢？

然而，挑战在于看穿快乐承诺的幻象，并信任这个过程。我们必须提醒自己，胜利的满足感确实会在欲望消退后到来。并且这种满足感远比我们错过的东西更令人愉悦、更有回报。

感谢观看。

We live in an age of instant gratification. Easy pleasures are all around us and they constantly beg for our attention. We can indulge in social media, online shopping, streaming, gambling, and mature content without even leaving the couch. Various substances and junk food are widely available, at least in the West. And so, many of us develop bad habits. Some are rather innocent. Others can seriously undermine our well-being. And many struggle to get rid of these bad habits, and may try for years, only to relapse over and over again.

The Stoics understood this problem well. They saw excessive desire as a passion an irrational disturbance that if we follow it could get us into trouble. Epictetus spoke extensively about how to deal with passions including the temptations that so often lead us astray. In particular, he offered a piece of advice that many of us overlook when trying to break a bad habit. This video explores a simple way to break bad habits, based on the wisdom of Epictetus. His advice has helped me personally, especially in overcoming past habitual binge drinking and other unhealthy pleasures.

The passion the Stoics called epithumia is a desire or longing for some anticipated pleasure something we hope to experience in the future. It's the urge that sends us to the fridge for an unhealthy snack, or to the browser for a visit to the hub. The more we give in to this urge the stronger it tends to return later as the habit becomes increasingly ingrained which is a mechanism that is well supported by modern psychology. Hence, we build habits by repetition which also applies to bad habits. So, the key to breaking a habit is not to give in to it refraining over and over again which weakens it every time we succeed.

The problem, however, is that it's easier said than done. When we experience a strong desire resisting it can be difficult. It clouds our judgment and disturbs our rational thinking. We forget about tomorrow and the long-term consequences of our actions because we want the promised pleasure so badly. The regret, the guilt and how we'll feel afterward are pushed aside. All we seem to have eyes for is that promised pleasure what the Stoics called hedone. But once we have given in to desire and experienced hedone which is often much shorter and less satisfying than we imagined we remember why we have told ourselves so many times not to do it. We're now dealing with the consequences and we're taking an oath to abstain. But later, we find ourselves repeating the action as the temptation seems too strong to resist. It's frustrating, it's disheartening and we may feel it's a hopeless case.

But luckily, Epictetus has some advice for us. Here we see a good example of what we might call stoic mindfulness. Similar to Buddhist mindfulness it requires us to pay close attention to what is happening within us. In this case, it's the appearance of a promised pleasure and our reaction to it. Instead of acting upon it or suppressing it Epictetus asks us to pause for a moment. Rather than letting ourselves be carried away by the desire for that pleasure we take a step back and watch it. This can be difficult, of course especially when the desire is strong. When the monster is still small and weak it's much easier to defeat it, so to speak. Once a desire gathers momentum resisting it becomes much harder. In my experience, It's important to notice the desire as soon as it arises and it often creeps in very subtly. And that's why mindfulness is so valuable. It helps us become aware of these impulses before they take control.

So, that's the first step. Now, Epictetus wants us to look into the future. More specifically, he wants us to imagine two possible outcomes, one based on pain and regret, the other on joy and self-respect. Let's begin with the first. End quote.

Now, this part of the advice is pretty straightforward and I'm sure you have tried it before. We remind ourselves that even though we'll experience the pleasure we'll also have to face the consequences afterward. In other words, we look beyond the goodie and consider the pain that may follow if we take it. For many, that's enough. When I think of the horrible hangovers I get after binge drinking the depressive moods that could linger for days it's usually enough now to keep me from the booze when I'm tempted.

But it wasn't always that way and it still isn't sometimes, to be honest. In many cases, this approach just isn't enough. Desire has a way of distorting our judgment. We begin to bargain. We tell ourselves that the consequences won't be so bad and that pleasure is totally worth the price. And perhaps, sometimes it is. But often, we're simply being misled by the power of passion. Now, as I mentioned before Epictetus also wants us to visualize a positive outcome, saying Let's see what he's getting at with this.

Imagine we're still in waiting mode. We're still on pause observing the habit we're trying to break feeling our desire for a specific pleasure. Let's suppose fear didn't work. What about positive reinforcement? What if we traded an immediate, short-lived pleasure for a more durable and constructive one?

In today's world pleasure usually means adding something. An experience, a purchase, a meal, a drink, another episode, another scroll through TikTok. We celebrate consumption, but we rarely consider the pleasure of not consuming, the pleasure of missing out. One of these pleasures, Epictetus makes clear is the satisfaction that comes from not giving in. Whether the pleasure is a night of binge drinking, a session of overeating junk food, or spending the night on The Hub or perhaps The Hamster we can give ourselves a round of applause for having resisted it.

Now, if that sounds a bit lame or unsatisfactory here's what Epictetus said next. And even though it should appear to you a seasonable gratification take heed that its enticing and agreeable and attractive force may not subdue you but set in opposition to this how much better it is to be conscious of having gained so great a victory. End quote.

By not giving in we gained a victory. We overcame, and we allow ourselves to feel great about it. This may seem like a small thing but it's a gift that keeps on giving. We can return to this joy at any time of day. We can keep reminding ourselves of how we have overcome temptation and feel satisfied every time. Moreover, we have become stronger while the habit has become weaker. So, it's a victory with serious consequences. And the more often we attain this pleasure the more powerful we become.

Over time, we build a greater sense of accomplishment, self-respect, and confidence. We begin to feel better about ourselves. We look in the mirror and like what we see. I mean, if that isn't a pleasure worth pursuing, what is?

The challenge, however, is seeing through the illusion of the promised pleasure and trusting the process. We must remind ourselves that the satisfaction of victory indeed arrives after the desire has passed. and that it's far more enjoyable and rewarding than what we're missing out on.

Thank you for watching.

We live in an age of instant gratification. Easy pleasures are all around us and they constantly beg for our attention. We can indulge in social media, online shopping, streaming, gambling, and mature content without even leaving the couch. Various substances and junk food are widely available, at least in the West. And so, many of us develop bad habits. Some are rather innocent. Others can seriously undermine our well-being. And many struggle to get rid of these bad habits, and may try for years, only to relapse over and over again.

我们生活在一个即时满足的时代。唾手可得的快乐无处不在，它们不断地乞求我们的关注。我们甚至无需离开沙发，就能沉溺于社交媒体、网络购物、流媒体、赌博和成人内容。各种物质成瘾品和垃圾食品也唾手可得，至少西方世界如此。因此，我们中的许多人养成了坏习惯。有些可能无伤大雅。另一些则可能严重损害我们的福祉。许多人挣扎着想要摆脱这些坏习惯，可能努力多年，却只是一次次地复发。

The Stoics understood this problem well. They saw excessive desire as a passion an irrational disturbance that if we follow it could get us into trouble. Epictetus spoke extensively about how to deal with passions including the temptations that so often lead us astray. In particular, he offered a piece of advice that many of us overlook when trying to break a bad habit. This video explores a simple way to break bad habits, based on the wisdom of Epictetus. His advice has helped me personally, especially in overcoming past habitual binge drinking and other unhealthy pleasures.

斯多葛派哲学家们深谙此道。斯多葛学派认为，过度的欲望是一种激情一种非理性的内心纷扰，如果我们屈从于它，就可能给我们招来祸患。爱比克泰德曾广泛论述如何应对激情，包括那些常常诱使我们误入歧途的诱惑。他尤其给出了一条我们常常忽视的建议，这条建议关乎我们如何改掉坏习惯。本视频将基于爱比克泰德的智慧，探讨一种改掉坏习惯的简单方法。他的建议对我个人助益良多，尤其帮我克服了过去的酗酒以及其他不健康的享乐行为。

The passion the Stoics called epithumia is a desire or longing for some anticipated pleasure something we hope to experience in the future. It's the urge that sends us to the fridge for an unhealthy snack, or to the browser for a visit to the hub. The more we give in to this urge the stronger it tends to return later as the habit becomes increasingly ingrained which is a mechanism that is well supported by modern psychology. Hence, we build habits by repetition which also applies to bad habits. So, the key to breaking a habit is not to give in to it refraining over and over again which weakens it every time we succeed.

斯多葛派所说的'激情'（epithumia），是一种对预期快乐的渴望或向往。即我们希望在将来体验到的某种东西。正是这种冲动，让我们打开冰箱找不健康的零食，或是点开浏览器访问The Hub。我们越是屈服于这种冲动，它日后卷土重来时就会越强烈，因为习惯会变得越来越根深蒂固。这一机制已得到现代心理学的充分证实。因此，我们通过重复来建立习惯，坏习惯的形成也是如此。所以说，改掉习惯的关键，就在于不要向它屈服。反复克制每一次成功，都会削弱它。

The problem, however, is that it's easier said than done. When we experience a strong desire resisting it can be difficult. It clouds our judgment and disturbs our rational thinking. We forget about tomorrow and the long-term consequences of our actions because we want the promised pleasure so badly. The regret, the guilt and how we'll feel afterward are pushed aside. All we seem to have eyes for is that promised pleasure what the Stoics called hedone. But once we have given in to desire and experienced hedone which is often much shorter and less satisfying than we imagined we remember why we have told ourselves so many times not to do it. We're now dealing with the consequences and we're taking an oath to abstain. But later, we find ourselves repeating the action as the temptation seems too strong to resist. It's frustrating, it's disheartening and we may feel it's a hopeless case.

然而，问题在于知易行难。当我们产生强烈的欲望时要抗拒它就很难了。它会蒙蔽我们的判断，扰乱我们的理智。我们忘记了明天，也忘记了行为的长期后果，因为我们太渴望那预期中的快乐了。懊悔、内疚以及事后的感受，都被抛诸脑后。我们眼里仿佛只剩下那承诺的快乐。也就是斯多葛派所说的 hedone（一种快乐）。可一旦我们屈服于欲望，体验了那种 hedone（快乐），却发现它往往比想象中更短暂，更不尽人意，我们才想起为何曾无数次告诫自己不要这么做。如今我们正承受着后果，并发誓要戒除。但之后，我们发现自己又重蹈覆辙，因为诱惑似乎强大到无法抗拒。这令人沮丧，令人灰心。我们可能会觉得这情况已无可救药。

But luckily, Epictetus has some advice for us. Here we see a good example of what we might call stoic mindfulness. Similar to Buddhist mindfulness it requires us to pay close attention to what is happening within us. In this case, it's the appearance of a promised pleasure and our reaction to it. Instead of acting upon it or suppressing it Epictetus asks us to pause for a moment. Rather than letting ourselves be carried away by the desire for that pleasure we take a step back and watch it. This can be difficult, of course especially when the desire is strong. When the monster is still small and weak it's much easier to defeat it, so to speak. Once a desire gathers momentum resisting it becomes much harder. In my experience, It's important to notice the desire as soon as it arises and it often creeps in very subtly. And that's why mindfulness is so valuable. It helps us become aware of these impulses before they take control.

但幸运的是，爱比克泰德为我们提供了一些建议。这里就有一个很好的例子，我们可以称之为斯多葛式正念。类似于佛教正念，它要求我们密切关注内心发生的一切。具体而言，就是那种对愉悦的期许浮现时，我们对此产生的反应。而不是立即付诸行动或压抑它，爱比克泰德请我们稍作停顿。与其让自己被对愉悦的渴望裹挟，我们退后一步，观察它。这当然不容易，尤其是在欲望强烈的时候。当这头‘怪兽’还弱小的时候，可以说，击败它就容易得多。一旦欲望积聚起势头，抵抗起来就会困难得多。以我的经验，关键在于欲望一冒头就觉察到它，而它常常是悄无声息地潜入。正因如此，正念才如此宝贵。它能帮助我们在冲动掌控大局之前，就意识到它们。

So, that's the first step. Now, Epictetus wants us to look into the future. More specifically, he wants us to imagine two possible outcomes, one based on pain and regret, the other on joy and self-respect. Let's begin with the first. End quote.

所以，这是第一步。现在，爱比克泰德要我们展望未来。更具体地说，他希望我们想象两种可能的结果：一种会带来痛苦与悔恨，另一种则会带来喜悦与自尊。我们先从第一种开始。引文到此为止。

Now, this part of the advice is pretty straightforward and I'm sure you have tried it before. We remind ourselves that even though we'll experience the pleasure we'll also have to face the consequences afterward. In other words, we look beyond the goodie and consider the pain that may follow if we take it. For many, that's enough. When I think of the horrible hangovers I get after binge drinking the depressive moods that could linger for days it's usually enough now to keep me from the booze when I'm tempted.

这部分建议其实很简单我相信你以前也尝试过。我们提醒自己，尽管会享受到快乐但事后也必须面对其后果。换句话说，我们要看得比眼前的好处更远，考虑如果我们接受了它，随之可能而来的痛苦。对很多人来说，这就够了。当我想到酗酒后那可怕的宿醉以及可能持续数日的抑郁情绪现在这通常足以让我在受诱惑时远离酒精。

But it wasn't always that way and it still isn't sometimes, to be honest. In many cases, this approach just isn't enough. Desire has a way of distorting our judgment. We begin to bargain. We tell ourselves that the consequences won't be so bad and that pleasure is totally worth the price. And perhaps, sometimes it is. But often, we're simply being misled by the power of passion. Now, as I mentioned before Epictetus also wants us to visualize a positive outcome, saying Let's see what he's getting at with this.

但情况并非总是如此而且说实话，现在有时也并非如此。在许多情况下，这种方法根本不够。欲望总有办法扭曲我们的判断。我们开始讨价还价。我们告诉自己，后果不会那么糟糕并且认为那种快乐完全值得这个代价。也许，有时候确实如此。但更多时候，我们只是被激情的力量引入了歧途。那么，正如我之前提到的爱比克泰德也希望我们设想一个积极的结果，他说让我们看看他这么说的用意。

Imagine we're still in waiting mode. We're still on pause observing the habit we're trying to break feeling our desire for a specific pleasure. Let's suppose fear didn't work. What about positive reinforcement? What if we traded an immediate, short-lived pleasure for a more durable and constructive one?

想象我们仍处在等待之中。我们仍然按兵不动，观察着想要戒除的习惯，感受着对某种特定快乐的渴望。假设恐惧不起作用。那正向强化呢？如果我们用转瞬即逝的快乐，去换取更持久、更有建设性的快乐呢？

In today's world pleasure usually means adding something. An experience, a purchase, a meal, a drink, another episode, another scroll through TikTok. We celebrate consumption, but we rarely consider the pleasure of not consuming, the pleasure of missing out. One of these pleasures, Epictetus makes clear is the satisfaction that comes from not giving in. Whether the pleasure is a night of binge drinking, a session of overeating junk food, or spending the night on The Hub or perhaps The Hamster we can give ourselves a round of applause for having resisted it.

在当今世界，快乐通常意味着增加点什么。一次体验、一次购物、一顿饭、一杯酒、再看一集剧、再刷一会儿TikTok。我们颂扬消费，却很少思考不消费带来的快乐，即“错过的快乐”。爱比克泰德明确指出，这些快乐之一正是源于克制欲望而产生的满足感。无论这快乐源于一夜酗酒、一次垃圾食品的暴食，还是在The Hub上消磨整晚。又或者是The Hamster。我们都可以为自己抵抗住了诱惑而给自己鼓鼓掌。

Now, if that sounds a bit lame or unsatisfactory here's what Epictetus said next. And even though it should appear to you a seasonable gratification take heed that its enticing and agreeable and attractive force may not subdue you but set in opposition to this how much better it is to be conscious of having gained so great a victory. End quote.

现在，如果这听起来有点蹩脚或不尽人意，那么，不妨听听爱比克泰德接下来是怎么说的。即使它在你看来是一种适时的享乐，也要当心，别让它那诱人、讨喜、迷人的力量征服了你，而是要转而想想，意识到自己赢得了如此巨大的胜利，感觉有多好。引述结束。

By not giving in we gained a victory. We overcame, and we allow ourselves to feel great about it. This may seem like a small thing but it's a gift that keeps on giving. We can return to this joy at any time of day. We can keep reminding ourselves of how we have overcome temptation and feel satisfied every time. Moreover, we have become stronger while the habit has become weaker. So, it's a victory with serious consequences. And the more often we attain this pleasure the more powerful we become.

通过不屈服，我们赢得了一场胜利。我们战胜了，并且让自己为此感到棒极了。这看似是件小事，但它是一份持续带来回报的礼物。我们随时都可以重温这份喜悦。我们可以不断提醒自己是如何战胜诱惑的，每次都感到满足。此外，我们变得更强大，而习惯则变得更微弱。所以，这是一场影响深远的胜利。而我们越是频繁地获得这种快乐，我们的力量就会越强。

Over time, we build a greater sense of accomplishment, self-respect, and confidence. We begin to feel better about ourselves. We look in the mirror and like what we see. I mean, if that isn't a pleasure worth pursuing, what is?

久而久之，我们会获得更强的成就感、自尊心和自信心。我们开始更认可自己。照镜子时，我们也会喜欢镜中的自己。要我说，如果这都不算值得追求的快乐，那什么才算呢？

The challenge, however, is seeing through the illusion of the promised pleasure and trusting the process. We must remind ourselves that the satisfaction of victory indeed arrives after the desire has passed. and that it's far more enjoyable and rewarding than what we're missing out on.

然而，挑战在于看穿快乐承诺的幻象，并信任这个过程。我们必须提醒自己，胜利的满足感确实会在欲望消退后到来。并且这种满足感远比我们错过的东西更令人愉悦、更有回报。

Thank you for watching.

感谢观看。