让事情变得更糟的思维模式：过度概括｜情绪调节 2.30

你有过这种情况吗？你在派对上说了句尴尬的话，脑子里就会响起：太好了，我社交没救了。

或者你在工作上度过了糟糕的一天，脑子里就会想：看吧，我什么都应付不来。

又或者，你只是和所爱之人吵了一次架，突然就觉得：我永远都经营不好关系。

你的大脑抓住一件事，然后把它变成“整个世界都是如此”。

知道吗？这种思维模式是有名字的。它叫作“过度概括”，也是最快将正常情绪拖入那种全天候、笼罩全身的情绪漩涡的方式之一。

在本视频中，你将学习如何识别过度概括，理解它为何会让一切都感觉更糟，并学习几个实用的方法来打断它。

但首先，让我跟你讲讲响尾蛇。我保证这和我们要讲的内容有关。

我曾在荒野疗法项目工作多年。首先说明一下，我们非常尊重这些孩子，也在户外经历过许多奇妙而改变人生的体验。

有一年，我在大阶梯-埃斯卡兰特地区工作。前一个冬天下过很多雨，于是草长得特别茂盛，草籽也更多，老鼠也随之增多，蛇自然也就更多了，尤其是响尾蛇，多得不得了。

有时它们会进到营地里来，我们就用棍子轻轻地把它们赶走。可它们总会再回来，所以我们只好把营地挪个地方。

有一次我们开车时，看到一条超过五英尺长的蛇。

我是在落基山脉长大的，经常在户外活动，所以对响尾蛇非常熟悉。徒步和爬山时偶尔会碰到，我爸爸还曾不小心骑车轧到过一条。就那种，哎哟喂。

还有一次，他在山路上跑步，从一块石头上踩下来时，感觉有什么东西刺了他的腿一下。他以为只是被树枝之类的戳到了，但晚上他一看，裤子上赫然有两个清晰的穿刺小孔。

所以他相当肯定自己被响尾蛇咬了，但那条蛇没有释放毒液。

还有一次，我岳父带着我和家人在一条狭窄的峡谷里徒步，他在前面领路，还爬上一个岩架，想从峡谷里出去。我带着三岁和一岁的孩子赶到那里，就问他：你是怎么爬上这块岩架，还没碰到那条蛇的？结果他一脸懵，说：什么蛇？

原来，就在他刚才手扶脚踩的那级台阶上，正盘着一条肥嘟嘟的响尾蛇。

好了，我保证这个故事有它的道理，好吗？一些很有意思的研究表明，响尾蛇其实非常不愿意咬人，只有在万不得已时才会这么做。

有位很酷的研究员用假腿踩了165条响尾蛇，结果蛇只攻击了假腿六次。

所以，人被蛇咬其实非常罕见，但确实会发生。我就有一位邻居被咬了，伤得很重，抗蛇毒血清花了十多万美金，还在重症监护室住了一个多星期。

还有一次我们徒步时，我刚跨过岩石间的一道裂缝，就听到脚下正中间传来一阵急促而尖锐的响尾声。我甚至还没反应过来那是什么声音，身体就已经跳开了。

所以，和蛇打交道的这些经历，让我对蛇变得异常敏感。回到那年我们在埃斯卡兰特河进行荒野疗愈的经历，当时我们都精神紧绷，因为蛇随处可见。

长话短说，我知道响尾蛇并不是要攻击我，但在和这些响尾蛇打过十几次照面后，我的神经系统可听不进这话。所以，经历了这么多惊险遭遇后，我变得有点一惊一乍的。

我正走在营地里，眼角余光瞥见一个长长的、蛇形的东西，就会猛地向后一跳，心怦怦直跳。然后定睛一看，才意识到那不过是一根树枝。

还有一次，我们徒步穿过一条小溪，我又听到一阵尖锐的窸窣声。我吓得跳了起来，心想：是蛇！因为孩子们就在我身后。然后我才发现，那只是一株长着会沙沙作响种子荚的植物。那不是蛇，只是一株植物。

但我的神经系统奉行这样一套策略：先反应，后判断。对吧？这种判断并不十分准确，所以我总把树枝和植物当成蛇。

但说实话，我并不介意我的神经系统不那么精确，因为那些快速反射让我免于潜在的危险。

所以我的神经系统做出了决定：我们要把所有有点像蛇的东西都归为蛇类，只为安全起见。

结果呢？那年夏天，几十个孩子和几十名工作人员都保持着高度警惕，而我们身边可能有成千上万条埃斯卡兰特地区的蛇，但没有人被咬。为什么？因为我们在进行“过度概括”。

那么，什么是“过度概括”呢？过度概括是我们大脑使用的一种非常巧妙的生存策略。它会快速形成宽泛、笼统的分类，让你能避开那些可能危险的东西。

所以，这就像在说：谢谢你，谢谢你，我的神经系统，努力保护我。这就是你的大脑把一次经历直接上升为一个普遍结论，即便当下并无危险。

事实是，小径上曾有一条蛇，于是现在所有像蛇的东西就都成了蛇。这就是一种过度概括。

但我们也会对其他被视为威胁的事情这样做。比如，“哦，我搞砸了”就变成了“我是个彻底的失败者”；“他们没回我信息”就变成了“没人在乎我”；“我的车坏了”就变成了“为什么这种事总是发生在我身上？”；“他太粗鲁了”就变成了“男人都这么讨厌”。

首先，过度概括并不总是负面的，它也可能表现为过度乐观。比如，“哦，我遇到了一位人特别好的投资经纪人”，那我就觉得可以把所有积蓄都托付给他了。或者，“我的马刚刚赢了那场比赛”，那我就觉得自己走运了，要连胜了。

通常，当你听到“总是”“从不”“每个人”“没有人”“所有事”“没有任何事”这类词语时，就能意识到自己在过度概括。这些就是大脑“非黑即白”的思维捷径。

但这样思考会扭曲现实，而当我们过度使用这种过度概括时，它就会助长强烈的情绪。

研究发现，通过观察谁有过度概括的倾向，就能预测谁会患上抑郁症。过度概括还与焦虑、愤怒、双相情感障碍、边缘型人格障碍、慢性疼痛、饮食失调、低自尊和偏见有关。

既然过度概括有这么多负面后果，那我们的大脑为什么要这样对待我们？我认为有两个相当充分的理由。

首先，很不幸，我们的大脑并不是为了让我们快乐而设计的，而是为了保护我们的安全。所以，过度概括往往是你大脑试图保护你的一种方式。

举个例子，如果绿部落的人攻击了你，那么你的神经系统就会理所当然地认为，所有绿部落的人都很危险。如果有一次你真的让自己失望了，你的神经系统可能会试图保护你免于失望，于是告诉你：“我总是失败。”于是，那个错误就变成了一种身份认同。

所以，如果你的大脑能把一次糟糕的经历变成一条规则，它就觉得可以通过这样告诉你来保护你：“可别再那样受伤了。所有带绿色特征的人都很危险。所有沙沙作响的东西都是蛇。别去尝试任何可能失败的新事物。”

所以，你的神经系统是想保护你，但代价是，你开始活在一个比现实更庞大、更黑暗、更无助的故事里。这就是我们的大脑经常这样做的第一个原因。

如果你在成长过程中经历了大量的批评、不可预测的环境、欺凌、创伤或慢性压力，或者你本身就属于情感上更敏感的类型，也会更容易这样做。你的大脑会更快地进行概括。

所以，创伤不过是神经系统习得了一种认知：哦，一切都不安全，对吧？这不是性格缺陷，只是一个学会了快速扫描模式的神经系统。

你的神经系统越是感到恐惧，就越是会过度概括；而它越是过度概括，你就越会感知到威胁。

我知道，当你的大脑在尖叫“这下完了！永远都这样了！”时，很难冷静下来解决问题。为什么所有事都让人有这种感觉？因为如果你真心认为一切永远都会是这样，而且毫无例外，那还费劲解决问题干嘛？

于是你的情绪会更强烈，身体反应会更剧烈，想法会变得更僵化、更绝望，你也会感到更加无力。

但实际情况是，你的大脑是在一个不准确的神经系统反应之上，编造出这些叙事。

有个人在我的一条视频下评论说：微妙之处在于，这个故事感觉起来就像真相，因为你的神经系统已经率先做出了反应。

想法只是事后才出现，为这个反应找理由。

偶尔冒出一些随机、不准确的想法，这很正常。但我们为什么还要一直这样做呢，对吧？

如果它让我们如此沮丧，让我们焦虑并带来这么多麻烦，我们为什么还要继续过度概括呢？

我认为，人们之所以会过度概括，还有一个非常重要的原因。

我们只会重复那些在某种程度上对自己有好处的事情。我们的大脑会重复做那些能带来某种好处的事。

那么，过度概括能带来什么好处呢？既然它让一切都感觉这么糟，那怎么还会有好处呢？

我们通过一些例子来探讨一下。

好吧，如果发生了不好的事，你可能会说：“为什么这种事总是发生在我身上？”

或者，如果你的孩子在公共场合情绪崩溃，你会想：“我是个糟糕的家长吗？”

又或者，如果你错过了工作截止日期，你不是去想：“哦，我需要一个更好的计划。”你的大脑却在说：“我什么都应对不了。”

注意这种极端思维如何让你只想放弃，而不是努力试一试。

所以，这就是我们常常陷入过度概括模式的第二个重要原因。

如果我确信这个世界毫无希望，那我就可以不去帮忙了。如果我确信自己总会失败，那我放弃尝试也就理所当然了。

过度概括是有回报的。这种感觉很好。

这感觉像是一种隐秘的慰藉，因为它似乎让你不必面对脆弱、不必付出努力，也不必去尝试。

但当你习惯性地这样做时，它会改变你的世界观和自我认知。而且很容易陷入一种困境，不断感到无助、无望、无力，并做出情绪化的反应。

所以，感谢神经系统为我们打造了这套模式，但我们可以做得更好。

我想说，摆脱过度概括、摆脱这种困境的方法，并非积极思考。出路在于更具体的思考。

好了，现在先简单提一下：在我分享一大堆你们真正能用上的实用方法之前，如果你想更深入地探索并处理你的焦虑、创伤或抑郁，或者仅仅是情绪反应性问题，希望你能了解一下我的会员项目。

我会带你进行一些实用练习，帮助你处理和调节情绪。

好了，说回过度概括。它是自发产生的。这是你的神经系统在做出反应，然后你的大脑围绕它编造出一个故事。

产生这些想法不是你的错，但它们也并非真的，对吧？

那根树枝不是蛇。那个沙沙作响的豆荚也不是蛇，对吧？

这些想法不是你的错，但它们也不是真的，而且你可以对此有所作为。

我有四个策略，能帮你学会识别这类思维，抓住谎言，并用更具体、更有帮助的想法来替代它，好吗？

好的，那么第一个技巧来了。当你使用“永远不”这类词时，要立刻觉察到：“所有人”“没有人”“所有事”“没有事”。

好的，一旦你发现自己用了这类词，这就是你暂停的信号。然后，把它替换成：“我此刻有个想法……”

所以，与其说“我是个彻底的失败者”，不如说“我此刻有个想法，觉得自己是个彻底的失败者”。或者，你可以直接给它贴上标签，比如说：“哦，我又在过度概括了。”

这样做的好处是，它能帮你拉开一点小小的距离，帮助你的大脑从“沉浸于想法之中”切换到“观察这个想法”。

好的，第二点，将其“打回原形”。这意味着要非常具体，并且聚焦于当下。

你得这样问自己：事实是什么？具体问题是什么？这件事从何而起，到何而止？

然后，用一个能帮你转换思维的句子，比方说：“好了，这是一个具体问题，是暂时的，也是可以解决的。”

所以，不要再说“我总是失败”这样的话。看，“总是”这个词又冒出来了。我们要捕捉到这个词，把它换成更具体的说法：“我这次没做好。”

如果你说“所有人都那么自私”，就把它具体化：“有些人很自私。”

即使你还不知道如何解决这个问题，你其实是在为自己创造选择的空间，去判断这个“故事”是否真的像它看起来那么有益。有了空间，你便有了自由。好的。

过度概括也“偏爱”身份标签。所以，类似“我是个糟糕的父母”这种说法，就是一种过度概括：“我总是很糟糕。”

你得从身份认知——比如“这就是我”——转向具体行为。要从身份认知转向具体行为。比方说：“我那件事没处理好”，对吧？

身份化的陈述会带来绝望感。行为化的陈述则会带来转机。

好的，第三个策略：寻找反例。所以说，过度概括本质上就是一套糟糕的“科学”方法。它仅仅抓住一个证据，就把它奉为自然规律。所以，我们要用更全面的“数据”来纠正它。

你可以这样问自己：“在哪些时候，这个说法并不成立？”“我有哪两次面对类似情况时，处理得还不错？”“有哪一个人曾对我表示过关心？”“或者，我这个故事里有没有例外情况？”

有没有哪些经历，和你现在认定的这个“故事”对不上？或者，你也可以换个角度这样想：“有没有其他人可能会对这件事有不同的看法？”换句话说，会不会有人面对同样的情况，却得出不一样的结论？

好，还有一个特别棒的方法来挑战“过度概括”。你可以试着验证一下，相反的说法是否成立。

比如说，如果你心想：“我忘了给孩子带午餐，真是个糟糕的家长。”那不妨问问自己：“难道记得带午餐，就能让我变成完美家长吗？”

如果你说：“唉，我总是让人失望。”但转念一想：“不，这不是事实。我过去也帮助支持过别人。”

或者，你可能会想：“唉，所有人都想对付我。”那么，我们来区分一下。有些人可能是想对付我，也有很多人帮助过我。

你并不是要证明自己是完美的。心理健康的人会用“接受两种可能性并存”来取代非黑即白思维。

我是搞砸了，但我可以从中吸取教训。那个人背叛了我，但我相信，未来会有更适合我的伴侣。

好了，最后一点是：第四点，寻找有益的做法。

如果过度概括能帮我们逃避对自己人生的责任，但这只会让我们感到无助，那么我们可以去寻找更有益的信念，来对抗这种无助感。

你可以这样问自己：“我真正看重的是什么？我想成为一个什么样的人？”如果你的答案是：“我想成为一个勇敢的人，成为一个值得信赖的人，成为一个有韧性的人。”总之，别让自己陷入无助的境地。

过度概括的作用正是如此，就是让你感到无助。所以，你不妨转而问自己：“我的控制范围内有哪些事？我可以从何处着手？什么样的一个小行动，能让我更接近我想成为的那种人？”

这个行动是去学习一项新技能，还是换个方式再试一次，又或是去道个歉？

采取行动需要很大的勇气，但从长远来看，它能让你变得更灵活、更有韧性、更充满希望，在生活里更有力量感。

好的，总结一下，如果你经常有过度概括的倾向，这正是一个很好的机会，去学习如何让自己的情绪更稳定。你并没有什么问题。你可以学会一项技能。

所以，先从觉察“总是”“从不”这类词开始，把思绪拉回到具体的那一刻，寻找例外情况，寻找有益的行动，然后只需迈出下一个正确的步伐。

因为一个艰难的时刻，就让它只是一个艰难的时刻。它不能定义你的整个人生。

总之，如果你能学会觉察并纠正自己的过度概括，代之以更有益的思维方式，你确实可以改善心理健康，在生活中更有力量感。

好的，非常感谢你的观看。衷心感谢。请照顾好自己。

Do you ever do this? You say something awkward at a party and your brain says, cool, I am socially hopeless.

Or you have a rough day at work and your brain goes, yep, I cannot handle anything.

Or maybe it's one argument with someone you love and suddenly it's like I will never succeed at relationships.

Your brain takes an event and it turns it into this is how everything is.

Guess what? This thinking pattern has a name. It's called overgeneralization, and it's one of the fastest ways to turn normal emotions into a full-body, all-day spiral.

In this video, you'll learn how to notice overgeneralization, understand why it makes everything feel worse, and learn a few practical ways to interrupt it.

But first, let me tell you about rattlesnakes. I promise it's relevant.

I worked for years in wilderness therapy programs, and just so you know we treated these kids with respect, and we had these amazing life-changing experiences in the outdoors.

One year I was working down in the Grand Staircase-Escalante area, and the previous winter we'd had a lot of rain, which meant more grass, which meant more grass seeds, which meant more mice, which meant more snakes. Like so many rattlesnakes.

Sometimes they'd come into camp and we would gently remove them with a stick. But they'd come back, so we'd have to move camp.

One time when we were driving, we saw one that was over five feet long.

Now, I grew up in the Rocky Mountains and I spent a lot of time outdoors, so I was really aware of rattlesnakes. I'd seen them occasionally on hikes and climbs, and my dad accidentally once ran one over on his bike. Like, womp womp.

Another time he was trail running and he stepped down off of this step and he felt something poke him in the leg, and he thought he just got like poked by a stick. But later that night he looked and he had these two perfect puncture marks like right through his pants.

So he was pretty sure he got bit by a rattlesnake, but the snake did not release its venom.

Another time, my father-in-law was hiking ahead of me and my family up this slot canyon, and he climbed out this ledge to get out of the canyon. And when I got there with my three-year-old and my one-year-old, I asked him, like, how did you get up over this ledge without going near the snake? And he was like, what snake?

And there was this like fat rattlesnake just sitting on the exact step he'd put his hands and his feet earlier.

Okay, I promise this has a point, okay? There have been some cool studies showing that rattlesnakes are actually very reluctant to bite people. They'll only do it as a last resort.

This cool researcher stepped on 165 rattlesnakes with a fake leg and the snakes only struck at this leg six times.

So it's very rare for someone to get bitten, but it does happen. So I had this neighbor who got bit, and he was badly injured and the antivenom cost over $100,000 and he spent more than a week in the ICU.

Another time when we were hiking, I stepped over a crack in the rocks and I heard this sharp rattle right between my feet. And my body just jumped out of the way before I'd even registered what I'd heard.

So what's happened is all this time interacting with snakes made me very highly attuned to snakes. So going back to wilderness therapy that year on the Escalante, we were all on high alert, snakes everywhere.

Now, long story short, I knew that rattlesnakes weren't out to get me, but try telling that to my nervous system after a dozen run-ins with these rattlers. So after all of these close calls, I was a little jumpy.

I'd be walking through camp and I'd see something long and snaky out of the corner of my eye, and I would jump back and my heart would be pounding. And then when I'd take a closer look, I'd realize it was just a stick.

Another time we were hiking across this stream and I heard again a sharp rattle. And I jumped, I was like snake! Because there were kids right behind me. And then I realized it was just a plant with these like rattly seed pods. It was not a snake. It was just a plant.

But my nervous system had this strategy, which was jump first, evaluate later. Right? This was not very accurate. So I kept thinking sticks and plants were snakes.

But honestly, I'm okay with the fact that my nervous system was not very accurate, because those fast reflexes were keeping me safe from a potentially dangerous situation.

So my nervous system made the decision: we're going to lump everything that's a little bit snaky into the snake category just to be safe.

And guess what? With dozens of kids and dozens of staff on high alert, as we hung out with probably like thousands of snakes on the Escalante that summer, no one got bit. Why? Because we were overgeneralizing.

So what is overgeneralization? Overgeneralization is a really cool survival strategy that our brain uses. It makes these fast, broad, sweeping categories that can keep you safe from things that might be dangerous.

So like, thank you, thank you nervous system for trying to keep me safe. It's when your brain then takes one experience and turns it into this global conclusion, even when no danger is present.

The fact is there was a snake on the trail, so now everything snake-like is a snake. That's an overgeneralization.

But we do this with other things that are perceived threats, like, oh, I messed up becomes I'm a complete failure. Or they didn't text me back becomes no one cares about me. Or my car broke down becomes why does this always happen to me? Or he was so rude becomes men are all so obnoxious.

Now, overgeneralization isn't always negative. It can also be excessively positive. So, for example, like, oh, I met a super nice investment broker. That means I can trust him with all of my savings. Or my horse just won that race. I'm on a winning streak.

You can usually catch yourself overgeneralizing when you hear words like always, never, everyone, no one. Everything. Nothing. These are the brain's all or nothing shortcuts.

But thinking this way distorts reality, and this overgeneralization, when we do it too much, it fuels intense emotions.

Research has found that you can predict who will develop depression by watching and observing who overgeneralizes. Overgeneralization is also linked to anxiety, anger, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, chronic pain, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and prejudice.

If overgeneralization has so many negative outcomes, like why would our brain do this to us? I would say there are two pretty good reasons.

So first, unfortunately, our brains aren't designed to make us happy. They're designed to keep us safe. So overgeneralization is often your brain trying to protect you.

So for example, if a guy from the green tribe attacks you, then it makes sense that your nervous system is going to assume that everyone from the green tribe is dangerous. If you really let yourself down one time, your nervous system might try to protect you from disappointment by saying, I always fail. And then that mistake becomes an identity.

So if your brain can turn one bad experience into a rule, then it thinks it can keep you safe by kind of saying like, oh, don't get hurt like that again. All green people are dangerous. Everything that rattles is a snake. Don't try new things where you might fail.

So your nervous system is trying to keep you safe, but the cost is that you start living inside of a story that's like bigger and darker and more helpless than reality. This is the first reason why our brains do this a lot.

It's also more likely that you'll do this if you grew up with a lot of criticism, unpredictability, bullying, trauma, chronic stress, or if you're just like generally more emotionally sensitive. Your brain is gonna generalize faster.

So trauma is simply the nervous system learning like, oh, Everything's unsafe, right? It's not a character flaw. It's just a nervous system that learned to scan for patterns really quickly.

And the more scared your nervous system is, the more it overgeneralizes. And the more it overgeneralizes, the more you perceive a threat.

And I know it's hard to problem solve when your brain is screaming, like, this is forever! Why does everything feel this way? Because if you truly believe that everything will always be this way forever and there are no exceptions, like, why bother problem solving?

So your emotions get louder, your body gets more activated, and your mind becomes more rigid and more hopeless and you feel more powerless.

But what happens here is that your brain is building these stories on top of an inaccurate nervous system response.

One person commented on one of my videos: it's subtle how the story feels like truth because the nervous system already reacted.

The thought just arrives afterward to justify it.

Having these random inaccurate thoughts once in a while is normal, but why would we keep doing it, right?

If it makes us so depressed, and if it makes us anxious and causes all these problems, why would we keep overgeneralizing?

I think there's one other really important reason why you overgeneralize.

We only repeat things that are rewarding in some way. Our brain repeats things that give it some kind of payout.

So what's the payout from overgeneralizing? Like how could it be rewarding if it makes everything feel so awful?

Let's explore this with some examples.

Okay, if something bad happens and you say, like, why does this always happen to me?

Or if your kid melts down in public, do you think, I'm a bad parent?

Or if you miss a deadline at work, instead of thinking, like, oh, I need a better plan, your brain goes, I can't handle anything.

Notice how this extreme thinking makes you feel like shutting down instead of trying harder.

So this is the second big reason why we often get stuck in a pattern of overgeneralizing.

If I'm sure that the world is hopeless, then I'm excused from helping. If I'm sure that I'll always fail, then I'm justified in not trying.

Overgeneralizing is rewarding. It feels good.

It's like secretly comforting because it seems to excuse you from vulnerability, from effort, from trying.

But when you do this habitually, it changes your worldview and your sense of identity. And it's easy to get stuck in a rut of constantly feeling helpless and hopeless and powerless and emotionally reactive.

So thank you, nervous system, for this, but we can do better.

And I would say the way out of overgeneralization, the way out of this rut, is not positive thinking. The way out is more specific thinking.

Okay, now real quick, before I give you a bunch of practical tools that you can actually use, if you want to take a deeper dive and address your anxiety and trauma, depression, or just emotional reactivity, I hope you'll check out my membership.

I walk you through practical exercises that can help you process and regulate your emotions.

Okay, overgeneralization. It happens spontaneously. It's your nervous system reacting and then your brain making a story about it.

It's not your fault that you have these thoughts, but they also aren't true, right?

That stick is not a snake. That rattly seed pod is not a snake, right?

These thoughts aren't your fault, but they're also not true, and there is something you can do about it.

So I have four strategies that are gonna help you learn to notice this type of thinking, catch the lie, and replace it with something more specific and helpful, okay?

Okay, so here's the first skill. Catch yourself when you say never. Everyone, no one, everything, nothing.

Okay, if you catch yourself using one of these terms, that's your cue to pause. Then you're gonna replace it with, I'm having the thought that dot dot dot.

So instead of saying, like, I'm a complete failure, you say, I'm having the thought that I'm a complete failure. Or you can label it, like say, oh, I'm overgeneralizing again.

And what this does is it builds in a tiny bit of distance, and it helps your brain switch from being inside the thought to observing the thought.

Okay, number two, shrink it back down to size. This means be really specific and in the present moment.

You gotta ask, like, what are the facts? What is the specific problem? Where does this start and where does it end?

And then use, like, a reset phrase: okay, this is a specific problem, this is temporary, this is fixable.

Okay, so instead of saying something like, I always fail, there's that always word. We're gonna catch that word. We're gonna replace it with something more specific. I failed this time.

If you say, everyone is so self-centered, make it more specific: some people are self-centered.

Even if you don't know how to fix the problem yet, what you're doing is creating space to choose, to decide if this story is really as helpful as it seems. And when you have space, you have freedom. Okay.

Overgeneralization also loves identity labels. So something like, I'm a terrible parent, is overgeneralization. I'm always terrible.

You've got to switch from identity, like this is who I am, to behavior. Switch from identity to behavior. Say, I didn't handle that situation well, right?

Identity statements create hopelessness. Behavior statements create options.

Okay, strategy number three, add in counterexamples. So overgeneralization is basically bad science. It takes one piece of evidence and calls it the law of nature. So we fix it with better data.

You can ask, like, huh, when is this not true? What are two times where I handled something similar and I handled it well? Who is one person who has shown me care? Or are there any exceptions to the story?

Any times where your experience doesn't agree with this story you're telling? And then another way to think about this is, like, well, is there anyone else who might see this differently? Like, is there someone out there who would look at this situation and have a different takeaway from it?

Okay, here's another really cool way to challenge overgeneralization. You could check to see if the opposite is true.

So, for example, if you believe forgetting my child's lunch makes me an awful parent, you can ask yourself if remembering their lunch would make you a perfect parent.

If you say, like, oh, I always let people down, and say, like, no, that's untrue. I've helped and supported people in the past.

Okay, you could think, oh, everyone's out to get me. All right, let's be a little bit more nuanced. Some people are out to get me, and there's a lot of people who've helped me.

You're not trying to prove that you're perfect. Healthy people replace all-or-nothing thinking with allowing two things to be true at the same time.

I messed up and I can keep learning. That person betrayed me, but I bet there's a better partner out there for my future.

All right, here's the last thing. Number four is look for helpful action.

If overgeneralization helps excuse us from taking responsibility for our lives, but that leaves us feeling helpless, then we can counteract that by looking for more helpful beliefs.

You can ask, like, what do I really value? What kind of person do I want to be? And if the answer is, like, I want to be courageous, I want to be trustworthy, I want to be resilient, like, don't make yourself helpless.

That's really what overgeneralization does, is it makes you feel helpless. So then instead you ask, like, what's in my locus of control? What can I act upon? What's one small action that lines up with the kind of person I want to be?

Is this action to learn a new skill, to try again differently, to apologize?

Taking action requires a lot of courage, but in the long run it can help you be more flexible, more resilient, more hopeful, more empowered in your life.

Okay, so to summarize, if you overgeneralize a lot, this is a great opportunity to learn how to be more emotionally stable. You're not broken. There's a skill you can learn.

So start by catching the words like always or never, shrink the story back to a specific moment, look for exceptions and look for helpful actions, and then just take the next, one next right step.

Because one hard moment is allowed to be one hard moment. It doesn't get to become your whole life.

Okay, you really can improve your mental health and feel more empowered in your own life if you can learn how to catch yourself overgeneralizing and replace it with more helpful thinking.

Okay, thank you so much for being here. Really appreciate it. Please take care.

Do you ever do this? You say something awkward at a party and your brain says, cool, I am socially hopeless.

你有过这种情况吗？你在派对上说了句尴尬的话，脑子里就会响起：太好了，我社交没救了。

Or you have a rough day at work and your brain goes, yep, I cannot handle anything.

或者你在工作上度过了糟糕的一天，脑子里就会想：看吧，我什么都应付不来。

Or maybe it's one argument with someone you love and suddenly it's like I will never succeed at relationships.

又或者，你只是和所爱之人吵了一次架，突然就觉得：我永远都经营不好关系。

Your brain takes an event and it turns it into this is how everything is.

你的大脑抓住一件事，然后把它变成“整个世界都是如此”。

Guess what? This thinking pattern has a name. It's called overgeneralization, and it's one of the fastest ways to turn normal emotions into a full-body, all-day spiral.

知道吗？这种思维模式是有名字的。它叫作“过度概括”，也是最快将正常情绪拖入那种全天候、笼罩全身的情绪漩涡的方式之一。

In this video, you'll learn how to notice overgeneralization, understand why it makes everything feel worse, and learn a few practical ways to interrupt it.

在本视频中，你将学习如何识别过度概括，理解它为何会让一切都感觉更糟，并学习几个实用的方法来打断它。

But first, let me tell you about rattlesnakes. I promise it's relevant.

但首先，让我跟你讲讲响尾蛇。我保证这和我们要讲的内容有关。

I worked for years in wilderness therapy programs, and just so you know we treated these kids with respect, and we had these amazing life-changing experiences in the outdoors.

我曾在荒野疗法项目工作多年。首先说明一下，我们非常尊重这些孩子，也在户外经历过许多奇妙而改变人生的体验。

One year I was working down in the Grand Staircase-Escalante area, and the previous winter we'd had a lot of rain, which meant more grass, which meant more grass seeds, which meant more mice, which meant more snakes. Like so many rattlesnakes.

有一年，我在大阶梯-埃斯卡兰特地区工作。前一个冬天下过很多雨，于是草长得特别茂盛，草籽也更多，老鼠也随之增多，蛇自然也就更多了，尤其是响尾蛇，多得不得了。

Sometimes they'd come into camp and we would gently remove them with a stick. But they'd come back, so we'd have to move camp.

有时它们会进到营地里来，我们就用棍子轻轻地把它们赶走。可它们总会再回来，所以我们只好把营地挪个地方。

One time when we were driving, we saw one that was over five feet long.

有一次我们开车时，看到一条超过五英尺长的蛇。

Now, I grew up in the Rocky Mountains and I spent a lot of time outdoors, so I was really aware of rattlesnakes. I'd seen them occasionally on hikes and climbs, and my dad accidentally once ran one over on his bike. Like, womp womp.

我是在落基山脉长大的，经常在户外活动，所以对响尾蛇非常熟悉。徒步和爬山时偶尔会碰到，我爸爸还曾不小心骑车轧到过一条。就那种，哎哟喂。

Another time he was trail running and he stepped down off of this step and he felt something poke him in the leg, and he thought he just got like poked by a stick. But later that night he looked and he had these two perfect puncture marks like right through his pants.

还有一次，他在山路上跑步，从一块石头上踩下来时，感觉有什么东西刺了他的腿一下。他以为只是被树枝之类的戳到了，但晚上他一看，裤子上赫然有两个清晰的穿刺小孔。

So he was pretty sure he got bit by a rattlesnake, but the snake did not release its venom.

所以他相当肯定自己被响尾蛇咬了，但那条蛇没有释放毒液。

Another time, my father-in-law was hiking ahead of me and my family up this slot canyon, and he climbed out this ledge to get out of the canyon. And when I got there with my three-year-old and my one-year-old, I asked him, like, how did you get up over this ledge without going near the snake? And he was like, what snake?

还有一次，我岳父带着我和家人在一条狭窄的峡谷里徒步，他在前面领路，还爬上一个岩架，想从峡谷里出去。我带着三岁和一岁的孩子赶到那里，就问他：你是怎么爬上这块岩架，还没碰到那条蛇的？结果他一脸懵，说：什么蛇？

And there was this like fat rattlesnake just sitting on the exact step he'd put his hands and his feet earlier.

原来，就在他刚才手扶脚踩的那级台阶上，正盘着一条肥嘟嘟的响尾蛇。

Okay, I promise this has a point, okay? There have been some cool studies showing that rattlesnakes are actually very reluctant to bite people. They'll only do it as a last resort.

好了，我保证这个故事有它的道理，好吗？一些很有意思的研究表明，响尾蛇其实非常不愿意咬人，只有在万不得已时才会这么做。

This cool researcher stepped on 165 rattlesnakes with a fake leg and the snakes only struck at this leg six times.

有位很酷的研究员用假腿踩了165条响尾蛇，结果蛇只攻击了假腿六次。

So it's very rare for someone to get bitten, but it does happen. So I had this neighbor who got bit, and he was badly injured and the antivenom cost over $100,000 and he spent more than a week in the ICU.

所以，人被蛇咬其实非常罕见，但确实会发生。我就有一位邻居被咬了，伤得很重，抗蛇毒血清花了十多万美金，还在重症监护室住了一个多星期。

Another time when we were hiking, I stepped over a crack in the rocks and I heard this sharp rattle right between my feet. And my body just jumped out of the way before I'd even registered what I'd heard.

还有一次我们徒步时，我刚跨过岩石间的一道裂缝，就听到脚下正中间传来一阵急促而尖锐的响尾声。我甚至还没反应过来那是什么声音，身体就已经跳开了。

So what's happened is all this time interacting with snakes made me very highly attuned to snakes. So going back to wilderness therapy that year on the Escalante, we were all on high alert, snakes everywhere.

所以，和蛇打交道的这些经历，让我对蛇变得异常敏感。回到那年我们在埃斯卡兰特河进行荒野疗愈的经历，当时我们都精神紧绷，因为蛇随处可见。

Now, long story short, I knew that rattlesnakes weren't out to get me, but try telling that to my nervous system after a dozen run-ins with these rattlers. So after all of these close calls, I was a little jumpy.

长话短说，我知道响尾蛇并不是要攻击我，但在和这些响尾蛇打过十几次照面后，我的神经系统可听不进这话。所以，经历了这么多惊险遭遇后，我变得有点一惊一乍的。

I'd be walking through camp and I'd see something long and snaky out of the corner of my eye, and I would jump back and my heart would be pounding. And then when I'd take a closer look, I'd realize it was just a stick.

我正走在营地里，眼角余光瞥见一个长长的、蛇形的东西，就会猛地向后一跳，心怦怦直跳。然后定睛一看，才意识到那不过是一根树枝。

Another time we were hiking across this stream and I heard again a sharp rattle. And I jumped, I was like snake! Because there were kids right behind me. And then I realized it was just a plant with these like rattly seed pods. It was not a snake. It was just a plant.

还有一次，我们徒步穿过一条小溪，我又听到一阵尖锐的窸窣声。我吓得跳了起来，心想：是蛇！因为孩子们就在我身后。然后我才发现，那只是一株长着会沙沙作响种子荚的植物。那不是蛇，只是一株植物。

But my nervous system had this strategy, which was jump first, evaluate later. Right? This was not very accurate. So I kept thinking sticks and plants were snakes.

但我的神经系统奉行这样一套策略：先反应，后判断。对吧？这种判断并不十分准确，所以我总把树枝和植物当成蛇。

But honestly, I'm okay with the fact that my nervous system was not very accurate, because those fast reflexes were keeping me safe from a potentially dangerous situation.

但说实话，我并不介意我的神经系统不那么精确，因为那些快速反射让我免于潜在的危险。

So my nervous system made the decision: we're going to lump everything that's a little bit snaky into the snake category just to be safe.

所以我的神经系统做出了决定：我们要把所有有点像蛇的东西都归为蛇类，只为安全起见。

And guess what? With dozens of kids and dozens of staff on high alert, as we hung out with probably like thousands of snakes on the Escalante that summer, no one got bit. Why? Because we were overgeneralizing.

结果呢？那年夏天，几十个孩子和几十名工作人员都保持着高度警惕，而我们身边可能有成千上万条埃斯卡兰特地区的蛇，但没有人被咬。为什么？因为我们在进行“过度概括”。

So what is overgeneralization? Overgeneralization is a really cool survival strategy that our brain uses. It makes these fast, broad, sweeping categories that can keep you safe from things that might be dangerous.

那么，什么是“过度概括”呢？过度概括是我们大脑使用的一种非常巧妙的生存策略。它会快速形成宽泛、笼统的分类，让你能避开那些可能危险的东西。

So like, thank you, thank you nervous system for trying to keep me safe. It's when your brain then takes one experience and turns it into this global conclusion, even when no danger is present.

所以，这就像在说：谢谢你，谢谢你，我的神经系统，努力保护我。这就是你的大脑把一次经历直接上升为一个普遍结论，即便当下并无危险。

The fact is there was a snake on the trail, so now everything snake-like is a snake. That's an overgeneralization.

事实是，小径上曾有一条蛇，于是现在所有像蛇的东西就都成了蛇。这就是一种过度概括。

But we do this with other things that are perceived threats, like, oh, I messed up becomes I'm a complete failure. Or they didn't text me back becomes no one cares about me. Or my car broke down becomes why does this always happen to me? Or he was so rude becomes men are all so obnoxious.

但我们也会对其他被视为威胁的事情这样做。比如，“哦，我搞砸了”就变成了“我是个彻底的失败者”；“他们没回我信息”就变成了“没人在乎我”；“我的车坏了”就变成了“为什么这种事总是发生在我身上？”；“他太粗鲁了”就变成了“男人都这么讨厌”。

Now, overgeneralization isn't always negative. It can also be excessively positive. So, for example, like, oh, I met a super nice investment broker. That means I can trust him with all of my savings. Or my horse just won that race. I'm on a winning streak.

首先，过度概括并不总是负面的，它也可能表现为过度乐观。比如，“哦，我遇到了一位人特别好的投资经纪人”，那我就觉得可以把所有积蓄都托付给他了。或者，“我的马刚刚赢了那场比赛”，那我就觉得自己走运了，要连胜了。

You can usually catch yourself overgeneralizing when you hear words like always, never, everyone, no one. Everything. Nothing. These are the brain's all or nothing shortcuts.

通常，当你听到“总是”“从不”“每个人”“没有人”“所有事”“没有任何事”这类词语时，就能意识到自己在过度概括。这些就是大脑“非黑即白”的思维捷径。

But thinking this way distorts reality, and this overgeneralization, when we do it too much, it fuels intense emotions.

但这样思考会扭曲现实，而当我们过度使用这种过度概括时，它就会助长强烈的情绪。

Research has found that you can predict who will develop depression by watching and observing who overgeneralizes. Overgeneralization is also linked to anxiety, anger, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, chronic pain, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and prejudice.

研究发现，通过观察谁有过度概括的倾向，就能预测谁会患上抑郁症。过度概括还与焦虑、愤怒、双相情感障碍、边缘型人格障碍、慢性疼痛、饮食失调、低自尊和偏见有关。

If overgeneralization has so many negative outcomes, like why would our brain do this to us? I would say there are two pretty good reasons.

既然过度概括有这么多负面后果，那我们的大脑为什么要这样对待我们？我认为有两个相当充分的理由。

So first, unfortunately, our brains aren't designed to make us happy. They're designed to keep us safe. So overgeneralization is often your brain trying to protect you.

首先，很不幸，我们的大脑并不是为了让我们快乐而设计的，而是为了保护我们的安全。所以，过度概括往往是你大脑试图保护你的一种方式。

So for example, if a guy from the green tribe attacks you, then it makes sense that your nervous system is going to assume that everyone from the green tribe is dangerous. If you really let yourself down one time, your nervous system might try to protect you from disappointment by saying, I always fail. And then that mistake becomes an identity.

举个例子，如果绿部落的人攻击了你，那么你的神经系统就会理所当然地认为，所有绿部落的人都很危险。如果有一次你真的让自己失望了，你的神经系统可能会试图保护你免于失望，于是告诉你：“我总是失败。”于是，那个错误就变成了一种身份认同。

So if your brain can turn one bad experience into a rule, then it thinks it can keep you safe by kind of saying like, oh, don't get hurt like that again. All green people are dangerous. Everything that rattles is a snake. Don't try new things where you might fail.

所以，如果你的大脑能把一次糟糕的经历变成一条规则，它就觉得可以通过这样告诉你来保护你：“可别再那样受伤了。所有带绿色特征的人都很危险。所有沙沙作响的东西都是蛇。别去尝试任何可能失败的新事物。”

So your nervous system is trying to keep you safe, but the cost is that you start living inside of a story that's like bigger and darker and more helpless than reality. This is the first reason why our brains do this a lot.

所以，你的神经系统是想保护你，但代价是，你开始活在一个比现实更庞大、更黑暗、更无助的故事里。这就是我们的大脑经常这样做的第一个原因。

It's also more likely that you'll do this if you grew up with a lot of criticism, unpredictability, bullying, trauma, chronic stress, or if you're just like generally more emotionally sensitive. Your brain is gonna generalize faster.

如果你在成长过程中经历了大量的批评、不可预测的环境、欺凌、创伤或慢性压力，或者你本身就属于情感上更敏感的类型，也会更容易这样做。你的大脑会更快地进行概括。

So trauma is simply the nervous system learning like, oh, Everything's unsafe, right? It's not a character flaw. It's just a nervous system that learned to scan for patterns really quickly.

所以，创伤不过是神经系统习得了一种认知：哦，一切都不安全，对吧？这不是性格缺陷，只是一个学会了快速扫描模式的神经系统。

And the more scared your nervous system is, the more it overgeneralizes. And the more it overgeneralizes, the more you perceive a threat.

你的神经系统越是感到恐惧，就越是会过度概括；而它越是过度概括，你就越会感知到威胁。

And I know it's hard to problem solve when your brain is screaming, like, this is forever! Why does everything feel this way? Because if you truly believe that everything will always be this way forever and there are no exceptions, like, why bother problem solving?

我知道，当你的大脑在尖叫“这下完了！永远都这样了！”时，很难冷静下来解决问题。为什么所有事都让人有这种感觉？因为如果你真心认为一切永远都会是这样，而且毫无例外，那还费劲解决问题干嘛？

So your emotions get louder, your body gets more activated, and your mind becomes more rigid and more hopeless and you feel more powerless.

于是你的情绪会更强烈，身体反应会更剧烈，想法会变得更僵化、更绝望，你也会感到更加无力。

But what happens here is that your brain is building these stories on top of an inaccurate nervous system response.

但实际情况是，你的大脑是在一个不准确的神经系统反应之上，编造出这些叙事。

One person commented on one of my videos: it's subtle how the story feels like truth because the nervous system already reacted.

有个人在我的一条视频下评论说：微妙之处在于，这个故事感觉起来就像真相，因为你的神经系统已经率先做出了反应。

The thought just arrives afterward to justify it.

想法只是事后才出现，为这个反应找理由。

Having these random inaccurate thoughts once in a while is normal, but why would we keep doing it, right?

偶尔冒出一些随机、不准确的想法，这很正常。但我们为什么还要一直这样做呢，对吧？

If it makes us so depressed, and if it makes us anxious and causes all these problems, why would we keep overgeneralizing?

如果它让我们如此沮丧，让我们焦虑并带来这么多麻烦，我们为什么还要继续过度概括呢？

I think there's one other really important reason why you overgeneralize.

我认为，人们之所以会过度概括，还有一个非常重要的原因。

We only repeat things that are rewarding in some way. Our brain repeats things that give it some kind of payout.

我们只会重复那些在某种程度上对自己有好处的事情。我们的大脑会重复做那些能带来某种好处的事。

So what's the payout from overgeneralizing? Like how could it be rewarding if it makes everything feel so awful?

那么，过度概括能带来什么好处呢？既然它让一切都感觉这么糟，那怎么还会有好处呢？

Let's explore this with some examples.

我们通过一些例子来探讨一下。

Okay, if something bad happens and you say, like, why does this always happen to me?

好吧，如果发生了不好的事，你可能会说：“为什么这种事总是发生在我身上？”

Or if your kid melts down in public, do you think, I'm a bad parent?

或者，如果你的孩子在公共场合情绪崩溃，你会想：“我是个糟糕的家长吗？”

Or if you miss a deadline at work, instead of thinking, like, oh, I need a better plan, your brain goes, I can't handle anything.

又或者，如果你错过了工作截止日期，你不是去想：“哦，我需要一个更好的计划。”你的大脑却在说：“我什么都应对不了。”

Notice how this extreme thinking makes you feel like shutting down instead of trying harder.

注意这种极端思维如何让你只想放弃，而不是努力试一试。

So this is the second big reason why we often get stuck in a pattern of overgeneralizing.

所以，这就是我们常常陷入过度概括模式的第二个重要原因。

If I'm sure that the world is hopeless, then I'm excused from helping. If I'm sure that I'll always fail, then I'm justified in not trying.

如果我确信这个世界毫无希望，那我就可以不去帮忙了。如果我确信自己总会失败，那我放弃尝试也就理所当然了。

Overgeneralizing is rewarding. It feels good.

过度概括是有回报的。这种感觉很好。

It's like secretly comforting because it seems to excuse you from vulnerability, from effort, from trying.

这感觉像是一种隐秘的慰藉，因为它似乎让你不必面对脆弱、不必付出努力，也不必去尝试。

But when you do this habitually, it changes your worldview and your sense of identity. And it's easy to get stuck in a rut of constantly feeling helpless and hopeless and powerless and emotionally reactive.

但当你习惯性地这样做时，它会改变你的世界观和自我认知。而且很容易陷入一种困境，不断感到无助、无望、无力，并做出情绪化的反应。

So thank you, nervous system, for this, but we can do better.

所以，感谢神经系统为我们打造了这套模式，但我们可以做得更好。

And I would say the way out of overgeneralization, the way out of this rut, is not positive thinking. The way out is more specific thinking.

我想说，摆脱过度概括、摆脱这种困境的方法，并非积极思考。出路在于更具体的思考。

Okay, now real quick, before I give you a bunch of practical tools that you can actually use, if you want to take a deeper dive and address your anxiety and trauma, depression, or just emotional reactivity, I hope you'll check out my membership.

好了，现在先简单提一下：在我分享一大堆你们真正能用上的实用方法之前，如果你想更深入地探索并处理你的焦虑、创伤或抑郁，或者仅仅是情绪反应性问题，希望你能了解一下我的会员项目。

I walk you through practical exercises that can help you process and regulate your emotions.

我会带你进行一些实用练习，帮助你处理和调节情绪。

Okay, overgeneralization. It happens spontaneously. It's your nervous system reacting and then your brain making a story about it.

好了，说回过度概括。它是自发产生的。这是你的神经系统在做出反应，然后你的大脑围绕它编造出一个故事。

It's not your fault that you have these thoughts, but they also aren't true, right?

产生这些想法不是你的错，但它们也并非真的，对吧？

That stick is not a snake. That rattly seed pod is not a snake, right?

那根树枝不是蛇。那个沙沙作响的豆荚也不是蛇，对吧？

These thoughts aren't your fault, but they're also not true, and there is something you can do about it.

这些想法不是你的错，但它们也不是真的，而且你可以对此有所作为。

So I have four strategies that are gonna help you learn to notice this type of thinking, catch the lie, and replace it with something more specific and helpful, okay?

我有四个策略，能帮你学会识别这类思维，抓住谎言，并用更具体、更有帮助的想法来替代它，好吗？

Okay, so here's the first skill. Catch yourself when you say never. Everyone, no one, everything, nothing.

好的，那么第一个技巧来了。当你使用“永远不”这类词时，要立刻觉察到：“所有人”“没有人”“所有事”“没有事”。

Okay, if you catch yourself using one of these terms, that's your cue to pause. Then you're gonna replace it with, I'm having the thought that dot dot dot.

好的，一旦你发现自己用了这类词，这就是你暂停的信号。然后，把它替换成：“我此刻有个想法……”

So instead of saying, like, I'm a complete failure, you say, I'm having the thought that I'm a complete failure. Or you can label it, like say, oh, I'm overgeneralizing again.

所以，与其说“我是个彻底的失败者”，不如说“我此刻有个想法，觉得自己是个彻底的失败者”。或者，你可以直接给它贴上标签，比如说：“哦，我又在过度概括了。”

And what this does is it builds in a tiny bit of distance, and it helps your brain switch from being inside the thought to observing the thought.

这样做的好处是，它能帮你拉开一点小小的距离，帮助你的大脑从“沉浸于想法之中”切换到“观察这个想法”。

Okay, number two, shrink it back down to size. This means be really specific and in the present moment.

好的，第二点，将其“打回原形”。这意味着要非常具体，并且聚焦于当下。

You gotta ask, like, what are the facts? What is the specific problem? Where does this start and where does it end?

你得这样问自己：事实是什么？具体问题是什么？这件事从何而起，到何而止？

And then use, like, a reset phrase: okay, this is a specific problem, this is temporary, this is fixable.

然后，用一个能帮你转换思维的句子，比方说：“好了，这是一个具体问题，是暂时的，也是可以解决的。”

Okay, so instead of saying something like, I always fail, there's that always word. We're gonna catch that word. We're gonna replace it with something more specific. I failed this time.

所以，不要再说“我总是失败”这样的话。看，“总是”这个词又冒出来了。我们要捕捉到这个词，把它换成更具体的说法：“我这次没做好。”

If you say, everyone is so self-centered, make it more specific: some people are self-centered.

如果你说“所有人都那么自私”，就把它具体化：“有些人很自私。”

Even if you don't know how to fix the problem yet, what you're doing is creating space to choose, to decide if this story is really as helpful as it seems. And when you have space, you have freedom. Okay.

即使你还不知道如何解决这个问题，你其实是在为自己创造选择的空间，去判断这个“故事”是否真的像它看起来那么有益。有了空间，你便有了自由。好的。

Overgeneralization also loves identity labels. So something like, I'm a terrible parent, is overgeneralization. I'm always terrible.

过度概括也“偏爱”身份标签。所以，类似“我是个糟糕的父母”这种说法，就是一种过度概括：“我总是很糟糕。”

You've got to switch from identity, like this is who I am, to behavior. Switch from identity to behavior. Say, I didn't handle that situation well, right?

你得从身份认知——比如“这就是我”——转向具体行为。要从身份认知转向具体行为。比方说：“我那件事没处理好”，对吧？

Identity statements create hopelessness. Behavior statements create options.

身份化的陈述会带来绝望感。行为化的陈述则会带来转机。

Okay, strategy number three, add in counterexamples. So overgeneralization is basically bad science. It takes one piece of evidence and calls it the law of nature. So we fix it with better data.

好的，第三个策略：寻找反例。所以说，过度概括本质上就是一套糟糕的“科学”方法。它仅仅抓住一个证据，就把它奉为自然规律。所以，我们要用更全面的“数据”来纠正它。

You can ask, like, huh, when is this not true? What are two times where I handled something similar and I handled it well? Who is one person who has shown me care? Or are there any exceptions to the story?

你可以这样问自己：“在哪些时候，这个说法并不成立？”“我有哪两次面对类似情况时，处理得还不错？”“有哪一个人曾对我表示过关心？”“或者，我这个故事里有没有例外情况？”

Any times where your experience doesn't agree with this story you're telling? And then another way to think about this is, like, well, is there anyone else who might see this differently? Like, is there someone out there who would look at this situation and have a different takeaway from it?

有没有哪些经历，和你现在认定的这个“故事”对不上？或者，你也可以换个角度这样想：“有没有其他人可能会对这件事有不同的看法？”换句话说，会不会有人面对同样的情况，却得出不一样的结论？

Okay, here's another really cool way to challenge overgeneralization. You could check to see if the opposite is true.

好，还有一个特别棒的方法来挑战“过度概括”。你可以试着验证一下，相反的说法是否成立。

So, for example, if you believe forgetting my child's lunch makes me an awful parent, you can ask yourself if remembering their lunch would make you a perfect parent.

比如说，如果你心想：“我忘了给孩子带午餐，真是个糟糕的家长。”那不妨问问自己：“难道记得带午餐，就能让我变成完美家长吗？”

If you say, like, oh, I always let people down, and say, like, no, that's untrue. I've helped and supported people in the past.

如果你说：“唉，我总是让人失望。”但转念一想：“不，这不是事实。我过去也帮助支持过别人。”

Okay, you could think, oh, everyone's out to get me. All right, let's be a little bit more nuanced. Some people are out to get me, and there's a lot of people who've helped me.

或者，你可能会想：“唉，所有人都想对付我。”那么，我们来区分一下。有些人可能是想对付我，也有很多人帮助过我。

You're not trying to prove that you're perfect. Healthy people replace all-or-nothing thinking with allowing two things to be true at the same time.

你并不是要证明自己是完美的。心理健康的人会用“接受两种可能性并存”来取代非黑即白思维。

I messed up and I can keep learning. That person betrayed me, but I bet there's a better partner out there for my future.

我是搞砸了，但我可以从中吸取教训。那个人背叛了我，但我相信，未来会有更适合我的伴侣。

All right, here's the last thing. Number four is look for helpful action.

好了，最后一点是：第四点，寻找有益的做法。

If overgeneralization helps excuse us from taking responsibility for our lives, but that leaves us feeling helpless, then we can counteract that by looking for more helpful beliefs.

如果过度概括能帮我们逃避对自己人生的责任，但这只会让我们感到无助，那么我们可以去寻找更有益的信念，来对抗这种无助感。

You can ask, like, what do I really value? What kind of person do I want to be? And if the answer is, like, I want to be courageous, I want to be trustworthy, I want to be resilient, like, don't make yourself helpless.

你可以这样问自己：“我真正看重的是什么？我想成为一个什么样的人？”如果你的答案是：“我想成为一个勇敢的人，成为一个值得信赖的人，成为一个有韧性的人。”总之，别让自己陷入无助的境地。

That's really what overgeneralization does, is it makes you feel helpless. So then instead you ask, like, what's in my locus of control? What can I act upon? What's one small action that lines up with the kind of person I want to be?

过度概括的作用正是如此，就是让你感到无助。所以，你不妨转而问自己：“我的控制范围内有哪些事？我可以从何处着手？什么样的一个小行动，能让我更接近我想成为的那种人？”

Is this action to learn a new skill, to try again differently, to apologize?

这个行动是去学习一项新技能，还是换个方式再试一次，又或是去道个歉？

Taking action requires a lot of courage, but in the long run it can help you be more flexible, more resilient, more hopeful, more empowered in your life.

采取行动需要很大的勇气，但从长远来看，它能让你变得更灵活、更有韧性、更充满希望，在生活里更有力量感。

Okay, so to summarize, if you overgeneralize a lot, this is a great opportunity to learn how to be more emotionally stable. You're not broken. There's a skill you can learn.

好的，总结一下，如果你经常有过度概括的倾向，这正是一个很好的机会，去学习如何让自己的情绪更稳定。你并没有什么问题。你可以学会一项技能。

So start by catching the words like always or never, shrink the story back to a specific moment, look for exceptions and look for helpful actions, and then just take the next, one next right step.

所以，先从觉察“总是”“从不”这类词开始，把思绪拉回到具体的那一刻，寻找例外情况，寻找有益的行动，然后只需迈出下一个正确的步伐。

Because one hard moment is allowed to be one hard moment. It doesn't get to become your whole life.

因为一个艰难的时刻，就让它只是一个艰难的时刻。它不能定义你的整个人生。

Okay, you really can improve your mental health and feel more empowered in your own life if you can learn how to catch yourself overgeneralizing and replace it with more helpful thinking.

总之，如果你能学会觉察并纠正自己的过度概括，代之以更有益的思维方式，你确实可以改善心理健康，在生活中更有力量感。

Okay, thank you so much for being here. Really appreciate it. Please take care.

好的，非常感谢你的观看。衷心感谢。请照顾好自己。